I might be the biggest idiot in the world or not, you tell me…
I (21M) have been friends with this girl (22F) since we met in college. She’s physically attractive but also out of my league so I never entertained the idea of pursuing a relationship. We have a good friendship going on.
Last week we were texting and she told me that she’d like to give me “platonic blow jobs” on a regular basis. Naturally I thought it was a typo but she repeated that she wants to give me oral a few times a week.
I asked her if this is some sort of social experiment and she said no. She said that I’m a quiet guy and that she just wants to make me “moan”. This was baffling because the guys she tends to hook up with are nothing like me (especially in terms of personality) so I don’t see how she sees my quietness as attractive.
I asked her why she’d want to do this with *me* anyway. We had a discussion that left me overwhelmed and flustered. And I’m even more confused when it comes to her intentions. She made it clear that she’s not interested in getting naked or having sex with me, she just wants to give head.
There are several problems. First, I have very little sexual experience. I think she will find that a massive turn off. Secondly, I wouldn’t last long at all and that would be mortifying. Third, it feels weirdly wrong to treat her like that. I’m feeling conflicted.
26 comments
The only problem is you’re scared. That’s fine, if you don’t want to, don’t. However, I feel like you’re overthinking this way too much. If you’re interested in her, go for it.
Some people like giving others pleasure. Maybe she wants to practice her skills? I think you can tell her you don’t have much experience, she seems pretty cool with taking control haha
If you guys weren’t good friends before that I would say go for it. Even if its something she wants, sex stuff has a funny way of breaking some friendships. But, not always.
Having little sexual experience shouldn’t be an issue, she’s just blowing you and it doesn’t sound like she wants to do anything else or have you do anything to her.
You might last longer than you think, you may last shorter than you think. Nerves can play a funny role, if you’re nervous you may not cum at all. I dont think it would be an issue in this context really. Not sure though thats just my impression. She wants to make you moan, make you react. If you cum quickly, that may be a hyper reaction she could be looking for. Its possible.
Not wanting to treat her that way is a thing. I worry the friendship could hit a bump if the mood is awkward if you take this step. Keeping the friendship intact would be my concern, but if you’re confident your friendship could survive the worst outcome, then go for it.
I personally have a friend i do cunnilingus with and nothing else. Its a fun dynamic if both are into it.
I’ve actually had this happen to me. My guy friend told me his friend(girl) liked me. I wasn’t dating at the time so I replied she could suck my dick, jokingly of course. One day we hung out all I could think about was getting some head and out of no where she’s says, “I know this is kind of bold but could I give you some head.” It was pretty great
This seems like an open and shut case if you do not put her on a pedestal. There is no ambiguity from the conversation: she wants to give you a blow job, full stop. She made her boundaries clear and told you what she wants from you. It might even be a kink to her – a common one, I should add.
>it feels weirdly wrong to treat her like that
To be quite blunt – you’re not treating her like *anything*. Women have libidos and wants too, and perhaps she wants to make you feel good. There’s literally a subreddit for people to give platonic blow jobs: /r/RandomActsOfBlowJob.
Also, any hangups you may have of your body or experience…it’s normal to feel insecure, and frankly it will never go away completely. We are our worst critics. That said, *she chose you*. She wants to do this to *you*. You’ve surely given her quite the impression.
I’d go for it, if only for the (much-needed) confidence boost it most likely will give you. There is little else in this world that can give a boost like having someone service you and make you feel good *for the sake of making you feel good*.
If you’re worrying about how long you will last (not that it really matters to most givers*), ask if she can blow you with a condom on. It might give you a bit more longetivity.
*edit: to the contrary, if you cum intensely and quickly it can be taken as a sign of her skills, which is a big boost for givers.
I think she’s attracted to you and finds your quietness very appealing when the guys she usually dates are big talkers. I’d say go for it!
Bruh, little sex experience is what she wants. If she wants to do it because you’re quiet all the time, imagine her finding out you have little sex experience. She will go nuts for you.
She wants to take your soul . Quite boys are the best you don’t even know even though you don’t have sexual experiences. Shes dangerous
Man take it
Less talk bro. Are you trying to talk her out of it?! Go with the flow but don’t seem too eager
Totally up to you. I’ve had great friends that on occasion we’d have sex or go down on each other for fun and it wouldn’t be a big deal. We’d just be regular friends outside of bedroom when they’d be bored. I don’t see anything wrong with doing it. But if you do or have reservations about it, that’s ok too. It may not be for you.
You reddit weirdos could talk yourselves out of anything couldn’t you?
1- a platonic blowjob is like a vegan steakhouse
2- there’s no such thing as “out of your league”
3- you never know what someone’s turn offs are until you ask
4- not lasting very long is probably a good thing with oral. How long do you want to choke on a dick for?
5- good on you for not wanting to treat your friend like that, but she is specifically asking for it.
OP, you think she’s out of your league. She obviously thinks you’re very much in her league. Obviously it’s your choice to make but do you want to slap yourself over this later on down the road?
The only way to gain sexual experience is to have sexual experiences.
Just saying
Let her suck it bro
Dude. Listen. Your life, in the end, is going to be made up of experiences you decided to take, and possibly regret for ones you didn’t. You’re young, so maybe you don’t understand yet, but the people you meet are going to be a revolving door. Someone who is a good friend now will be a stranger in 5 years. It might sound like I’m rambling, but the point is, don’t deny yourself experiences because your afraid of losing a friend. Chances are you’ll lose track of them well before then.
I had a similar offer around your age and I took it. Worked out fine, those blowjobs are still in my spank bank and we’re still friends.
Giving head is fun, she’s into it. Go for it!
Sounds like you won the lottery.
10 years from now you will only regret this if you turn it down. She is going to have fun doing this so any concern for her sake is misplaced
If she wants to do it, I don’t see a problem. If she wants to make you moan, I don’t think lasting very long is an issue, as it’s also probably what she wants. She probably likes the fact you’re inexperienced.
You’ll have plenty of experience soon enough if you take her up on it.
I think she’s asking you for something and you should do the chivalrous thing and help her out. It will probably be a beautiful thing for you both.
Bruh just take it .. you won the Powerball now you’re asking if you should accept the prize or not
Oh you know what? Good for you. Accept it. Its a even a bigger bonus since you have little sexperience, so much fun learning! Really! I wish someone could ask me to be a sporting buddy back then at such age. Goodluck buddy. She believes in your dick, so should you.
As a 46 year old male I can assure you this is one of the pretty rare situations in life where you will always regret not getting out of your comfort zone and trying at least a few times. Get it while the getting is good.