Update: Thank you everyone for the brutally honest responses. Today has been a very tough day. I tried to get an emergency meeting with my therapist literally as soon as I found out, but unfortunately she didn’t have any openings. I will be seeing her next week. I will also be encouraging my bf to get into therapy alone and possibly as a couple. I know my usage of the term “sick freak” can be harsh but my emotions have been all over the place. This is the first time I’m hearing of GSA… My bf had a very tumultuous childhood with a broken family. This is very different from my stereotypical nuclear near “leave it to beaver” family upbringing. I can’t guarantee I will be able to move past this, but I am going to try and take it day by day. I love my bf dearly and he has treated me like a queen since the day we have been together. However, this has given me some trust issues amongst other things that will for sure take time to repair. Thank you all again for the kind words and brutal honestly it really has help me calm down.
You guys I need serious help right now. I am just in full shock and feel like my world has been turned upside down. My boyfriend has a half sister that he didn’t even know existed until he was in high school. After high school they connected and began to get to know each other. He confessed to me today that one night six years ago they both got very drunk and had sex. This was the second time he had ever seen her. He claims that he regretted it instantly. He also says that the guilt of it all has been eating him up for 6 years. Even though he seems extremely remorseful, I am in total shock and I don’t know what to do. I never ever thought he would be capable of something like this. Now I’m just wondering what kind of sick freak would ever do something like this??? I’ve been with this man for 5 years and I love him so this absolutely heartbreaking. What do I do?
45 comments
If you think someone your with is a sick freak, and you don’t like sick freaks, why be with someone you think is a sick freak? You know? That’s what you do.
Well he can’t unfuck his half-sister, so either you accept it and move on or break up with him.
This happens all the time ….. in Arkansas
After 5 years it would be a real shame to end your relationship over this drunken mistake that he made 6 years ago. I expect he has felt quite embarrassed and he has now opened up and been honest. If you can work through this I think it could make your relationship stronger.
There’s actually a shockingly high incidence of this kind of thing happening, for some reason. I don’t think I could get past it, but I wish you well.
wow, this is actually an extremely tough situation to be in. personally, i would have to end things immediately because i don’t deal with that incest shit (even if it’s drunken). good luck with whatever you decide, girly <3
Just move on? Shocking I know.
They were drunk, had only met twice and didn’t grow up knowing about eachother. As messed up as the situation was it was a mistake that never got repeated, wasn’t a part of a sick fetish and isn’t something he feels good about.
I genuinely do not see a reason why you would throw away a 5 year relationship over that. It’s just a “oh, that’s weird… anyway” kind of thing. Don’t hyper focus on it
I wouldn’t be able to stomach that information but everyone’s different. Do they still have contact? Does anyone else know? You should do what you think is better for you.
I Actually can’t understand why this guy didnt talk about it from the beginning, why wait 5 years?
There’s communal living farms in Israel called a kibbutz. Strange tangent, I hear you think… well bear with me.
Some of them would have communal creches, where people took turns “mothering and fathering” everyone’s kids, sometimes dozens of them.
This basically resulted in all the kids of a certain age feeling like siblings, because they grew up as siblings. Eating together, sleeping in dorms together, playing together, etc.
Turns out this went far enough that NONE of them would pair off and date, as you would normally expect hormonal teens to do, at some point. It just felt too weird.
I think you’re seeing the exact opposite of that: they had none of these natural feelings of revulsion to banging a sister/brother, because they haven’t grown up as siblings. Add some booze and yeah, I can see it.
I DO think it’s fair to say they probably don’t have a kink for incest. It just didn’t FEEL like incest.
In the end it comes down to “can you live with this”, and no one here can tell you that.
Yeah I wouldn’t be able to stomach that, I’d be like boy bye.
It seems like a lot of people are minimizing this situation. It’s normal to feel repulse after you know that your SO had sex with his sibling and didn’t tell you for 5 years.
They were drunk, yes, but they knew they were siblings at that point. Imo they shouldn’t even be in that situation in the first place if they even dreamt sleeping together would be a possibility.
He does seems remorseful of the fact that they had sex, so if you want it could be salvageable. But this is if you think you can get past this. If you do, I would recommend therapy, maybe even couples therapy too.
Info: how old are you guys? Is your bf still in contact with his sister?
Need to know the ages of everyone involved please.
Meanwhile… in the red states
*Sweet Home Alabama echoes in the distance*
Look at your timeline here babe, he had sex with his sister a year before you two got together. Like others have said I couldn’t get past this but good luck
You need to remember that for most of his life he didn’t even know about her and she was a stranger to him. They didn’t grow up together and live in the same house. They didn’t feel that they were brother and sister and were sexual attracted to each other. Even though they knew the fact that they were related, they didn’t “feel” it like that. After they spent the night together, the resistance would have hit him and he felt guilty. What might have felt like a casual hook up at the time felt differently in the morning. If he has genuinely been troubled about it over the past 6 years, go easy on him. He sees it as a regretful incident that will never be repeated. He needs your support. That’s why he opened up to you. You see it as “sick”. Try and get past that and work through it with him.
Honestly. This is totally weird. And ur right to freak out. However if u love him and there’s no other weird or abusive shit in ur relationship… this sounds like an impulsive mistake … ppl do change and do grow . 6 years is awhile and plenty of room for growth. But also like do they still talk? Is there a relationship there? And why now?.. can you deal with this? It’s up to your feelings and ur knowledge of him. Trust ur gut.
Why would he tell you 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Damn if I ever did something wild like that I’m prolly gonna put that knowledge in the “Take this to my grave and vehemently deny any implication” category. If you leave buddy no one would blame you. That’s all up to you though. Let’s do a hypothetical and give him the benefit of the doubt and since you seem completely blindsided by this revelation there’s reasonable cause to say you don’t think something like this would happen again. Do you think that you’d be fine being with him still? Do you think if you go and spend Christmas with his family and you see him and his half sister talking you won’t freak the fuck out? If y’all had kids would you be cool with aunty babysitting? If not then you can leave him. He’ll understand because he knows what he did was crazy.
Girl you’re not gonna get past this. Move on.
Ooookay. So it’s actually a thing. Siblings when meeting for the first time, as adults sometimes feel a sexual attraction. I can’t even remember what this is called but it’s real and I learned about it in psychology about 22 yrs ago. I’ll update if I remember.
Either way you have two options. Move past it or dwell on it.
I wish you the best of luck.
Edit: just Googled it. Here ya go.
Genetic Sexual Attraction.
How did I not remember that, it’s so easy. Hahaha
me personally, i would not be ok with that. he can’t change it so you have to either be ok with it or not and id say no
What do you do? Man :/ Whatever your heart tells you. Obviously it’s not sitting right with you… and you really shouldn’t settle regardless of how long you’ve known or been with this man. Yes, everyone’s made mistakes but some mistakes you simply can’t overlook.
I couldn’t be with a man that fucked his sister (no I don’t care if they’re only half siblings it’s still gross) but that’s just me. 🤢
What is it about long lost siblings and relatives that end up wanting to have sex with each other. There’s gotta be a word for this.
There’s technically nothing you can do?
First thing you do is CALM DOWN. The taboo against incest exists for three reasons: to prevent 1) genetic diseases, 2) domestic abuse, and 3) psychological issues that come when family relationships are complicated by sexual and romantic relationships.
One sexual encounter six years ago that didn’t lead to a pregnancy knocks out all three concerns. Your bf was obviously disturbed by the encounter (because of the strength of the taboo) and doesn’t seem interested in a repeat. Obviously, you need to make sure of this, that he has no further romantic or sexual interest in his half-sister, and you need to make sure she doesn’t want and/or isn’t soliciting further encounters with him. But aside from that, the only issue is …
Why did he do it? Well, first of all, they didn’t grow up together, so they didn’t FEEL like family to one another. And secondly, there’s a powerful attraction to be found in meeting a stranger who is very like you in ways only genetics can explain. It’s why there are so many cases of parents and children divided by divorce and adoption who engage in sex with each other. There’s even a term for it: “[Genetic Sexual Attraction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_sexual_attraction)” which hasn’t been sufficiently studied to be proven scientific.
I think you need to give yourself a minute to absorb and process it. This shit happens more than people think. It’s not great for a whole host of reasons, but one of the big ones is the taint of the taboo, which, if removed, would leave much less of tangle. So try to put that aside and just accept that good people do weird things that they can’t even account for to themselves. If your bf is really not interested in his half-sister anymore, then this is a relatively acceptable weird and twisted thing to have in his closet, and you might consider just letting it go.
And if he’s really eaten up over it he needs THERAPY, and I think you should encourage him to get it.
That’s nasty…that’s still a blood relative even if it’s only half sibling…if that’s a deal breaker then break it off from him
Incest with his half sister and you need advice? If he will dick his have sister when he’s drunk he’ll screw a doorknob. Man. That’s bad. I’ve been drunk many times. I have rode some gals like horses in the Kentucky Derby. Been blown into next year.
Never not one time have I ever even thought about having sex with anyone I’m kin to. Drunk or sober.
Was she stuck?
girl what are you doing? get out of there 💀💀
He waited 5 years to tell you this? That’s practically just as bad as the disgusting act he committed. I don’t think this is something I could get over if I was in your shoes, girl.
Well he’s remorseful and didn’t cheat on you, I dunno. People are capable of a lot, and taboo ot not they both consented. I can’t imagine sharing that information was easy, and PERSONALLY I would try to find a way not to judge a person for their sexual history, especially something they regret and told me in confidence. At the end of the day though, you have to be able to respect your person and if you can’t do that then you’ll end up resentful. Don’t let yourself hate the people you love, if this is bigger than your ability to digest it then best wishes in your next endeavor.
Leave him.
Drunk or not, I cannot even contemplate this….
We live in a society
There’s a whole phenomenon (largely discounted) about people biologically related to each other who don’t meet until adulthood being attracted to each other. It’s not that uncommon. As some other commenters have said, can’t put that proverbial cat back in the bag. Either accept it or don’t.
BrotherFucker
> just wondering what kind of sick freak would ever do something like this???
Aperently your bf
If you can’t wrap your mind around it (NOT THAT IM SAYING WHAT HE DID WAS OK…ITS HOLY FREAKING NOT OK) I think it’s probably best to let him go cuz that mental image is burned into your brain and NO AMOUNT OF BRAIN BLEACH WILL GET THAT STAIN OUT!
First time they met n discovered they were half brother/sister, and second time they had sex knowing they were related!? Yikes…if they did not know until after the 2nd time they met, then that is different but still a WTF moment/confession…
Is the Maury Povic show casting?
You and your partner should seek therapy in case you decide to stay with him. This is beyond the scope of reddit.
What in the sweet home Alabama did I just read?
Sounds like you learned everything you need time to find someone that’s interested in diversifying the gene pool.
this is definitely difficult to process, I myself would not know what to do. I guess both should take a break, be on their own to process, and maybe see a professional if it’s that concerning?? or just break up
Why does this subreddit constantly pump out the most bizarre stuff possible