I take it as compliment but sometimes it happens when my wife and I are out and I step away from her for a moment and it’s like people see an opptunity and shoot their shot. well this is how my wife explains to me and that I shouldn’t get Upset about it. It’s one if they don’t think she is with someone (even though she wears her ring) and tries but what gets me is if they we are there together, we meet someone at the bar, I go to restroom, then later I find out that the person we just met was hitting on her when I stepped away. She tells me these things after we leave because if I was to find out about it she thinks I would be a jerk to that person and “they were just shooting their shot” so no big deal. but to me that person hitting on her is kinds a POS and if am find out I will probably treat that person like a POS from there on out and my wife seems to confuse that with jealousy and then I get “I never thought you were the jealous type”. then I come to find out that people’s buy her lunch, usually always a male, but I find this out weeks later, like she was hiding that little tidbit from me, then I start to wonder what else she is hiding, because sometimes she goes out without me and sometimes she changes her appearance if i meet her at a place, like she will remove some makeup before i get there. Anyway how do you person’s handle others hitting on your significant other?
19 comments
Just keep your eyes open . Gut feelings often mean something. Removing makeup?
There are some flags that bare watching. It’s true she could be adjusting to your personality.
I would say do not go to the point of paranoia but change up some things . Behavior has a reason behind it especially lunches bought by and spent with people who hit on you.
I don’t handle it. She does. She’s a grownup and can take care of herself.
Bottom line: do you trust your wife?
If so, then get over it. You have nothing to worry about.
If not, then you have a problem, and the problem isn’t those other people. Work on what is.
And how is any of this *not* jealousy?
You just ignore it. Otherwise you risk losing said hottie.
She’s either with you or she isn’t. If she isn’t… move on.
Have you never heard the song “If you wanna be happy”?
Check it out!
Keep communicating together that is the key to help you feel secure but if it’s too bad please seek professional help.
Also try to explain to your partner that it makes you feel disrespected and belittled when people treat her and you this way and it hurts.
We had a saying in the military: never seen a ring plug a hole before. That’s why these guys shoot their shot because too much infidelity today.
I’d let it go but you’re right, they are pieces of shit and should be treated as such. I’d ask my wife to tell them to fuck right off. I think she’s a little too casual about it…
well for one your wife shouldnt be accepting offers from people buying her lunch that disrespectful. also going to bars is a bad idea, you are literally asking your wife to be hit on when you step away. also your wife seems to be lowkey disrespecting you. she is entertaining these men. and last the only solution is to just be confident you cant do nothing about it
i explained in the original post. I’m not upset with her, I’m upset with person that hits on her. I would only be upset with them if they meet me and later on hit on her. it’s a respect thing to me.
You let your wife handle it. Not first time she brushed off a man hitting on her.
Let her handle it when you’re not there, and if someone is bold enough to do it in your presence, dismiss them (in a disrespectful manner).
Letting it bother you is a beta move. Be an alpha.
If she *acts* on people hitting on her, keep an eye on the situation. If she cheats, then sent her to the streets.
You have a right to be upset at both. And I’m sorry to tell you but she likes it or lacks boundaries for herself because that’s a big NO. A woman who respects herself and partner and isn’t open to this type of behavior would shut it down, walk away, and tell you when you back from the bathroom. It really depends what the people in the relationship are ok with and expect from the other to respond.
If she’s always telling you after it happens, maybe it’s not really happening all that much and she just likes to make you feel jealous. Petty games. People play it.
My wife has never been hit on in front of me, but I have seen guys checking her out and she’s told me about times she’s been hit on. Recently in Costco. IS NO PLACE SACRED!
Really I don’t care about that but I also wouldn’t be sociable with someone who would knowingly hit on my wife. So I feel you there.
I don’t think married people should accept drinks or meals from members of the opposite sex when out. Buying that drink or meal is flirtation and accepting is participation.
No thankyou is easy to say and politely establishes a boundary. An exception would be something like if coworkers took turns paying for lunch.
If my wife was accepting drinks and meals I’d defiantly have to have that conversation with her.
I would imagine this also happened when you guys were dating? How did you handle then?
Nothing. Actually this happened once at a party back new years 2020. Apparently she was just being social and ended up using the guy to get the both of us into a club later that night which worked out greatly in my favor
I don’t think she does. I knew that she got hit when I’m not around, she has told me of instances, but just recently found out it’s happening right in front of me with people I know, so that means it has been happening more often than I figured
well I was never told by her when we were dating that people’s have been doing this
well it’s never when I’m there, but she has been propositioned when I’m not there and I was included in the invite, but also I am not included in the proposition other times
Let her handle it and kiss the hell out of her.
My spouse and I protect each other in this regard. It has gotten awkward once or twice but we both believe in guarding our marriage and any other person that flirts or hits on one of us is trying to invade the sanctity of our relationship. If anything weird happens the other just makes their presence known in a direct way. And we certainly wouldn’t socialize with someone that hit on the other.