I’ve never really dated before, but am feeling ready to try it out. So thought I’d put up a profile on a few different sites. But every time I’ve put up a new profile so far, the next time I log in (the next morning, the next day, on one site within an hour!) I have ended up with around 100+ people swiping right/liking my profile.
I’ve tried pausing the account or changing my criteria to get fewer matches, but then as soon as I unpause it again the same thing happens all over again.
Is this normal? How do people even have time to be on these dating sites?
I want to give everyone the courtesy of really considering their profile, and at least have a bit of a conversation with them on the app if I think it might lead to an interesting conversation or maybe someone I would want to go for a walk with or whatever to see if we click.
But it’s turning into a full-time job just trying to sort through them all, much less trying to carry on conversations with 50 people at once. (I certainly don’t want to actually date 50 people, I’m just trying to figure out how to narrow them down to a reasonable number, and want to give people a fair chance if they seem at all attractive or interesting to me).
I don’t have the time and energy for this.
I’m a middle-aged woman with photos and a profile that are not remotely sexy/suggestive or particularly revealing. I’ve made it clear that I’m not looking for casual sex. My photos are unedited and unfiltered with little to no makeup. I don’t dress or wear my hair stylishly. I’m somewhat unique-looking, but have never thought I was particularly attractive (and have been told explicitly before that I’m not beautiful). I’m not curvy. People virtually never hit on me or flirt with me in real life (unless it’s going over my head). I’m so confused.
How do people make this manageable? What’s a reasonable amount of people to be talking to at once to try to narrow it down, and how long should I give it in a conversation before deciding I’m not clicking with somebody? How do you decide which people to meet up with in person, and then what?
How do you keep the number of likes/swipes manageable? Do I just unpause it for 10-15 minutes every now and then, and then pause it again until I sort through the 5 or 10+ people that liked my profile during that time?
I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed with all this, and feel a bit like I’ve gotten into more than I bargained for.
4 comments
It’s pretty normal. I would just stop swiping after sorting through your likes for a few matches if I were you
If you’re a girl, it’s mostly dudes who want to bang. Of the ones who want something more, figure maybe 1/10 checks enough boxes. Don’t get sucked into the idea that all of these 100+ likes are viable options. That’s what tends to cause people to keep looking once they’ve found something and they never end up committing to someone and eventually find themselves scraping the bottom of the barrel for something decent.
lol welcome to the normal girl experience. Allot some time to sort through some matches but don’t feel like you need to do all at once e.g. do maybe 5-10 a day etc.
Many guys get ~0-10 likes so in part due to dating app user imbalances guys swipe more frequently in hopes of getting a match.
Very normal for a woman. that is why women are picky on the apps; they’re forced to be.