Americans (I disagree with you calling yourselves that)—

I have watched your all of your television shows and now consider myself to be fully versed in the ways of the Americans. I have come to this sub to tell you how you are wrong. It would be a disservice to you to not tell you, since you are all geographically illiterate, never travel beyond your borders and are incapable of understanding other languages. Here are my points of contention:

—Stop painting your busses yellow. I do not like it. It is weird.
—I’ve seen your “cooking shows”. Stop adding butter and sugar. Obesity problem solved.
—You need to accept less personal space. I need to smell your hair when we are in line. Also, queuing is outdated. No one does it in MyCountry.
—Remove Florida. They are dragging you down.

14 comments

  1. Your submission has been automatically removed due to exceeding the text limit in your post’s textbox. Please shorten it to fewer than 500 characters (not words), including spaces and links, to comply with rule #2. Afterwards, contact us via modmail, and we’ll restore it.

    *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAnAmerican) if you have any questions or concerns.*

  7. We’ll trade you Florida for Australia, it’s basically British Texas already.

  8. > —Remove Florida. They are dragging you down.

    This is the only thing you’ve said that makes sense.

  9. ‘Merica bitch. WDGAF what you or any of the other wastes of protoplasm think.

  10. >—Remove Florida. They are dragging you down.

    Well that’s something we can agree on at least. XD

  11. Me American. No use big words. Why you talk like funny French man? Haha NASCAR go vroom.

  13. Florida is the very last former Spanish colony that’s not a shithole country.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like