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It wasnt a coach, but in middle school during the morning announcements, our assistant football coach won some award or was recongnized for something, I am not entirely sure.
I can only assume that his title was abbreviated to ass. coach xxxxxxx on whatever the student was reading from because the student who read the annoucnents read it as “ass coach xxxx”.
As a collection of 11-13 year olds, I am sure you can understand why this was the funniest thing we had heard in our lives.
“We need to get some hands on balls.” – referring to anticipating a passing lane while playing defense in basketball, get a deflection and a break-away.
I coach box lacrosse and I always tell my kids that unlike field they have to run off when they clear the ball and can’t have a picnic with the Defender/forward until the ball comes back. Needless to say the kids thought it was hilarious that I thought that is what the forwards and defenders do in field.
Track coach teaching us to run hurdles, trying to explain not waste energy jumping too high “I want your balls slapping the bar!”