For those who are in a long term stable relationship, do you even wonder what it’s like dating other women?

37 comments

1. It’s slightly different, but mostly the same.

2. Admiral Akbar would see this from 12 parsecs away

3. I’ve been in relationships where I had a wandering eye and wondered “what if” and I’ve been in relationships where other women wouldn’t really catch my attention even if they were my type.

   Just a matter of the girl and the relationship.

4. The key to staying content with the quality of your grass, is never looking over the fence.

5. I hate dating. so no. I would probably kill myself if my wife left me.

6. What is this “stable relationship” of which you speak?

7. Maybe. I don’t anymore. Lizard brain might think about conquest but I’m certainly not sitting around thinking about starting any relationships. The seems somehow deeper. Like you’re still shopping.

   Maybe I’m just old and tired. I have reached the point where if the wife died I would just live alone. I’ve got enough kids. I don’t really see the point in starting another relationship. I had my family so to speak.

   Is your relationship really fulfilling or just something you settled for? That’s the only real question here.

8. why would i?

   before i actually found my partner i tried to date and find someone and i was horrified with what was on the dating market.

   personally i feel content with how my life is now and i like the stability it offers. also the relationship did get better as time went on so i cant complain there.

9. I think it can be totally normal and healthy to think things like that. As in a ‘just for shits and giggles’ thought process.

   Like wondering what your life would be like if you took a different career path etc only it’s a different relationship path.

   Provided it’s just a fleeting ‘what if?’ thought and not a full blown, detailed fantasy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

10. Normal. Stop talking(flirting) with other women. U feed that monster and it will grow.

11. We all know new relationship is fun for a short while. But staying happy in a long relationship is a goal for most ppl so if you reached that goal , I wouldn’t look other side of the fence cause I’m happy.

12. For me, thinking about dating other women reminds me of why I’m glad I’m not dating them. I’m so glad to be out of the dating game. I did way too much dating and I’m excited for getting to know one woman for the rest of my life.

13. Nah. I’m pretty happily married

    I actually start to get fearful when thinking about dating other women if my wife died for some reason.

    I really don’t want any part of dating again.

14. No, I’m not monogamous so I can date other women

15. I’m married and I fuck random chicks all the time. ..

    Na Just playing I’m a single reddit loser that writes stupid comments

16. I mean I might see another women and think she’s attractive, but not really. I love my partner and we’ve been together since senior year if high-school. I am %100 okay with not dating anyone again because tbh dating around sucks and its much nicer go have someone you love who you can journey through life with and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world

17. Nope cuz I’ve honestly never met a woman with the qualities I’d actually enjoy more than my gf. Dating my gf is fucking amazing. I’ll admit I do wonder what it’d be like fucking other women but I think that’s part of being a man and I’d never do it. Content and happy with what I have but sometimes when I’m horny I do wonder

18. Look at it as having one truckload of bricks/planks of timber. Think of bricks or planks depending on how houses are built where you live.

    You can either find someone else with another truckload of bricks/planks, and together you have enough material to build a nice little comfy house to live in.

    Or you wan waste little batches of brick/planks on multiple foundations that will never be completed, or worse, waste them on a house that someone else will end up living in.

    This is a more elaborate metaphor of saying that you shouldn’t try to chase two chicken at the same time. A fulfilling life is the one that you have dedicated 100% of your attention to.

    Sure, there are pretty women as far as the rest can see, but a fulfilling life is achieved with finding the one whom you can entrust with your secrets, who will encourage you to push yourself, and whom you can plan long term projects with.

19. I dread dating but the honeymoon phase was nice.

20. It happened to me. I dated my first girlfriend from 15 to 23.

    After 4 years of relationship we were in college and there were so many hot women there that I always wondered if I’d marry having banged only one chick in my entire life. I loved her but I’d love having the opportunity to have sex with other women (but the idea of betraying her really never crossed my mind).

    At that time I fell in love with a friend. I still loved my girlfriend but not so strong as before and I’d compare her to my friend. I knew her defects but I didn’t knew my friend’s so the grass looked greener on the other side. I almost had an affair but this made me feel like trash and I couldn’t imagine hurting her so me and my friend decided to finish it before its beginning.

    4 years later and I was in an exchange program in other continent for 1 year. We didn’t have money to visit each other so we had a 1 year distance relationship. During that time I also felt the need to have sex with other women and also fell in love with a friend. She would also look perfect and all the defects from my girlfriend would get spotlight.

    Yet, whenever I imagined breaking up with my girlfriend I’d feel so much pain that I’d begin crying like a toddler. She was still very dear to me. So even though I had feelings for my new friend I just sucked it up and pretended I felt nothing. At that time I decided having had sex with only 1 woman was a small price to pay if I’d have her by my side forever. So I was actually considering her to be my wife.

    But then after I came back to my country my girlfriend was acting weird. Everything I said would piss her. It was like walking on eggs. She would arrive late for our meetings. She would reply my online messages with one words only. She would go out with her friends and not tell me about it.

    I thought it was a phase or something.

    Things really felt off during my birthday. She gave me the weakest hug I ever received from someone. And she also seemed pissed at me during my birthday dinner with our friends. When I took her to the bus station I tried to kiss her when her bus arrived and she turned her cheek to me. It felt like a stab.

    Yet I still thought it was a phase (hormonal maybe?).

    The only time she would act like her former self and be kind to me was during sex. It was like she returned to her version of 2 years ago.

    Then one day I asked what she was doing and she told me she was going to a Pearl Jam concert. She told me she didn’t invite me because I was living abroad at the time (cause fuck internet right?). Then I got pissed, complained and she just ignored me for 2 weeks.

    I spent 2 weeks dying inside not understanding why she was acting like that. She wouldn’t get my calls or messages. Then I went to her parents’ home and asked what’s up and she apologized. She told me she didn’t love me anymore and “wanted to experience new things” but she didn’t have the courage to break up and was trying to made me do it.

    It broke my heart and still does (7 years have passed and it still hurts).

    So I guess everyone will feel this need for a new partner sometimes. Maybe it’s just human nature. You might be in a good relationship but new stuff is always more exciting.

21. everybody does this after a while, you just remember how great your partner is. the grass is greener most of the time m8

22. Pretty normal, these thoughts do pop up from time to time, but It’s the same with every aspect in life (for me). Studying, switching jobs, moving. All that.

23. All the fucking time. But then I think, “Bitches be crazy. Would just being giving up one problem for another. “

24. My wife and i had a phase where we were looking into dating another women for kind of a threesome group. After some tries, we gave up and quickly noticed that apparently, times have changed. So many people are now either hardcore leftwing, hardcore rightwing, mentally unstable or just have aweful personalities.

    So no, i am happy that i don’t have to think about that anymore.

25. I think it is normal to think about that and even to have fantasies. It doesn’t say you are unhappy or that you think about cheating, it is just curiosity. I think it is healthy in a long term relationship to be able to fantasize about other girls.

26. Code Amber

27. Everyday. We’re currently in an LDR, and I’m more social. I love to hangout with friends and drink, and some women did make some advances towards me. One even asked me out, but I denied her.

    But it all comes back to my long-term partner being so compatible with me that it made me think that if I was with another women, it may be not as good as this one.

    But boy do those thoughts keep coming, like seeing a super hot girl that’s my type and I’m like “What if…”.

28. Nope. I’ve been married over 40 yrs and never seriously wondered that. Love is a daily decision. Long term love is not an emotion. We have a wonderful marriage. Loaded with respect.

29. No. Because previously I had dated a lot of other women.

    In terms of long terms specifically. Assuming you are currently in a decent relationship the grass is usually not greener its just different. There will always be different pros and cons to any woman you date. Obviously if you are in a bad relationship then anything is better, including being single.

30. After 25 years with my wife, I’ve got to the point where I’m glad I don’t have to go throught all that “new relationship” aggro again, because I don’t have the energy for it.

31. I do, and did, when we opened up the marriage after her sex drive completely disappeared. It was an awful experience. Dating fucking sucks, I gave up entirely. Would rather be celibate than jump through the hoops women expect you to jump through these days.

32. Been with my wife 25 years, married 16.

    I am goddamned glad I am not dating in the current environment. This world is very different from the one where I was dating. I really wouldn’t want much to do with today’s modern women.

    That said, we’ve been through a lot. Dropping out of college, going back to finish my degree, miscarriages, two kids, job losses, family losses….the list is pretty extensive. She’s been loyal throughout. No piece of ass is so hot that I am willing to throw all that away, along with half my finances and time with my kids. And I wouldn’t want to hurt her that way.

    It sounds like there’s something you’re not getting from her. Talk to her about what’s going on. Communication is the key. Both of you have to get your needs met.

33. No. Dating was awful. If I found myself single again, I would likely remain that way.

34. No

    I dated many other women, some seriusly, others casual and in the end it always comes down to the same bullshit. One way or the other, the woman in question will try to manipulate you.

35. I never have because dating has a lot of trade-offs. There are significant downsides with the upsides. Because of this… Ive never found myself wanting to try someone new when with a woman. Usually I’m much more likely to just want to be free again for a bit…. And then maybe try again when I get my fill of freedom for a while.

36. It’s normal.

37. I do the same think as you, always have in a relationship. I’ve a super active imagination/mind, so I’m not surprised about this. I have no idea if it’s healthy or not. I don’t think it’s completely abnormal though.

    I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side but just more grass. Some grass is higher maintenance than others, etc. I can assure you that the cute/nice/etc. woman you are thinking about is just another woman with her pluses/minuses just like the one you are with now.

    I don’t think you should worry about it too much unless you are planning to act on your impulses/tempatations.