What would you do if you truly loved your partner but the sex is just not that great?

13 comments

1. Add some toys!!

2. Sexual connection is what makes a romantic relationship differ from a deep friendship, for me. So if the connection was there initially, I would explore everything to bring the spark back. If the sexual compatibility was always lacking, it wouldn’t be a relationship I would explore or fight for long term.

3. Depends on whether or not they’re compatibly kinky. It’s how I engage with intimacy so no kink no relationship beyond friendship.

4. Definitely bring it up to them, or at least suggest yall try something new. I’ve had a partner who at first the sex was really bad for me to the point where I had very lukewarm feelings when he’d initiate. But I lucked out that he was super sexually curious and experimental, constantly asking what he could do to make it better, so each time it got better and better.

   If yall are in a routine, you need to shake it up. Maybe have some alone time with yourself to reconnect to what gets you going. Maybe play a game where for 10 min each, one partner lays on the bed and has to instruct the other partner what to do. This forces you to communicate what you want verbally.

   In the end your partner likely wants you to be satisfied, so the long term payoff of getting to see what you act like when you’re excited for sex will be worth the temporary awkwardness.

5. I have a low libido when it comes to actually having sex with another person and much prefer to masturbate so it wouldn’t be an issue for me

6. Communicate and work together to make it awesome again

7. Go in a journey together to learn how to adequately please each other. Nothing can’t be learnt imo

8. I would try to teach them/give them direction, and if they were unable or unwilling to improve after that then I’d strongly consider breaking up. Sex matters to me a great deal.

9. I would talk to them and try to make it great

10. I’m going to be honest the mature part of me says communicate and talk about it. And trust me I’ve done that before but I’ve found if it’s not there from the jump, it’s unlikely in my experience for it to develop to something good.

11. It wouldn’t matter much to me. There are compromises to be made, even if it is self care after the fact with no judgement. But to me, if I love them, it is for more than just the sex. So it wouldn’t be even close to a deal breaker to me.

12. Are you able to improve on it? Can you both have an open chat and see whwre feedbacm and communication take you? Or is it just generally like oil and water?

13. Depends: is your partner

    -inexperienced?
    -unaccustomed to your preferences?
    -shy?
    -dealing with other issues?

    Those problems can be overcome with time and practice.

    OTOH, is your partner:

    -selfish
    -asexual
    -kink incompatible
    -lazy

    Then you have to decide if you’re willing to live with bad sex…….FOREVER. (I would not decide that? Some people do tho.)