As the title suggests but with a bit more context. I (33m) split up with this ex 8 years ago. We’d known each other since we were 16 and didn’t get together until we were 23.
I used to dream about her before we got together all that time ago, I was always in love with her. The we got together, I figured out I was at the beginning of a depression journey. Reached out to her a few times and we always chatted – albeit briefly – now I’m in a very happy and stable relationship but the dreams have returned, arguably they’ve never gone away.
The dreams themselves are never that eventful, just that we’re together. That’s it. I wake up with sadness for two reasons: one, that it was a dream (there’s always a nice ‘feeling’ around them) and two, that I cannot shake this and it’s affecting my life and, therefore, relationship.
I can’t shake the past, when all I want to do is look back fondly and be excited for my future.
Don’t know what I’m expecting from posting this, but I’m on a three night streak so far and it’s very tough.
3 comments
*therapy*
If you have old photos, old emails or access to her socials… force yourself not to look at any of it. That has made a difference for me in the past.
I had a rather uneventful dating live in HS and college then around 25 met this gal I was head over heels in love with. It was a short but powerful relationship which ended just about as quickly. I was crushed. How do you put something like that out of your mind.
But everyone goes through this or at least most do at some point. Normally you move on and find someone else until you find the person you stay with forever as was the case for me.
I still think of her and it took many years before I fully rationalized things and got over her, but I went on and lived my life.
If you find you have a mental block and just can’t get over her, I’d suggest you go find a therapist and talk things through. Maybe there are some other aspects in your life which combined are causing you this grief.