I Simped for her when I was 21 and she was 20. I’d open doors for her, offer to pay and just accommodating overall. She rejected me and I was really depressed about it but didn’t make it known obviously. She started purposely excluding me from school activites that we would usually be doing together in groups of 4. She’d offer for me to work with her then ghosts me the day of.
The disrespect continued until she eventually flew across the country to a big university. Now, we’re working at the same firm and she’s slowly starting to bully me again. Frankly, I want to throw this princess off the Empire State Building while having it all on video. She has no remorse and even though she doesn’t owe any man her heart, she’s acting like a childish entitled little girl.
I acted vulnerable at that time which is on me but who would assume a girl would look at you as weak and begin bullying you? I’m thinking of submitting a letter of resignation, I love this job and I’m getting paid $90,000 per yr but I can’t afford any bad reports about me on my employment record. I truly hate this girl, it’s exactly why I haven’t asked out any other girl since that time, literally.
Are there any alternatives?
TLDR- girl I asked out in my early twenties – in university, started working at the same company with me and is now bullying me again. What to do?
9 comments
You need therapy if you haven’t asked out a girl since brotherman
Therapy
Talk/call her out on her bs with support of mutuals
Talk to boss/work colleague about it or HR
So many things better than just insta quitting
As anxious ADHD person I relate and validate your feelings but also don’t accept them as normal
HR. Why? Because she won’t hesitate to make up some bullshit about you and go to HR herself when you stand up for yourself.
Time to cover your ass.
Record every interaction and say very little then show the evidence to her superiors.
You’re 28 and don’t know how to work with someone you hate? You were there first, just be polite and don’t engage.
Go to HR like yesterday. Record all interactions with her. Do not reply to her, do not talk to her. Just go to HR.
> Are there any alternatives?
Well let’s figure that out!
You haven’t given us much to go on, so please list some examples.
Plus any examples of bullying that there could be a record of (emails, group chat etc). Plus examples of any bullying that directly impacts your job. Or is more off the clock?
You had a thing for this girl way back when. She rejected you. Made such a huge impact on you that you didn’t ask anyone out for *seven years.* And now you work at the same place she does? What are the odds? Who started there first, if I may ask?
So I’m giving advice as someone in middle management who has to deal with this stuff; check what the procedure is for your job before going to HR. Many places require you to go to management first, then if it doesn’t get resolved, you report that lack of resolution to HR.
Also you imply that the bullying is similar to when you were younger, i.e. social exclusion, her avoiding you and not dealing with it immaturely. That could easily be seen as a clash of personalities and her just not wanting to be friends.
Is she doing anything that management or corporate HR would consider out of line?
When you say bullying, what is she actually doing? Things that she could legitimately lose her job over, or is it more petty manipulative kind of stuff?