I’ve been chatting online with an old friend/former gf. She’ a friend from my distant past, and back then we dated, but it was a pretty childish relationship (we were 16, were 40 now) and it ended with us not being friends anymore. She kinda really hurt me, and since she was the first gf I ever had, and a good friend before that, it set a mistrustful tone for a few of my following relationships that I managed to shake off eventually.
Her mom sadly passed away about 10 years ago, and since I had known her mom outside of whatever relationship we had, I of course attended the funeral to pay my respects. This seemed to make her think we were friends again, and she followed me on social medias and kinda just was back in my life. I was really not into this, but since she never really interacted and just went about her life, I didn’t do anything about it.
More recently, we’ve been talking on IG, it started off pretty low key, just chit chat every so often, and since I don’t really have many friends anymore, it was kinda nice to have someone to bs with. The convos are now daily, and every so often will get a lil more serious and we’ll talk about some of the crap were going through. She’s separated from her husband, and is trying to make sense of that, and I’m pretty much just dead weight in my own existence and all alone, etc.
Recently she’s been getting very flirty with me, and has kinda brought up sex a few times, not always directly related to me, but enough times to make me nervous. I’ve managed to steer the convo away from it pretty consistently hoping she’d get the hint, but it does not seem to be working. Like pretty much every woman I’ve ever dated, she’s very smart and very driven.
To be perfectly clear. I do not want that from her. Not even a little. I was just enjoying having someone to talk to because I’m lonely, and now I’m feeling like I’m going to have to blow this whole situation up and go back to talking to myself. She knows it’s been a long time for me, and honestly I feel like she thinks she’d be doing me a favor, and it probably genuinely comes from a good place, but I am just not interested. It’s not even like she’s unattractive or anything, I’m just not into it.
So the question is, do I pre-emptively shoot this idea down, or do I wait for something very clear and direct to be said before I do? I’ve honestly never been in this scenario before in my life.
2 comments
I’d just avoid but maybe mention if in a relationship already or something like that when opportune, to see if you can politely signal so she doesn’t get the wrong impression/barks up the wrong tree. I think a subtle signal that could be just an innocent comment would help make her not feel bad but also help so that neither of you has to waste time with a misunderstanding.
Classic case of breakup anger. Do not engage. Do not have ex sex.
>IG
Ex talk over social media and unwanted propositioning for ex sex. This is nothing more nor less than a classic case of Instagram. When there are complaints about social media, it’s usually Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WeChat, TikTok, or VKontakte. Instagram incurs fewer complaints because it gets little use, but it’s the hardest social media. It’s like saying dextromethamphetamine is okay because it kills fewer people than fentanyl. This is problematic social media use. It needs to end. Get and follow advice on how to permanently delete your Instagram account. Yes, it’s true that it’s difficult. However, you seriously need to let her and especially IG go and use social media responsibly. r/nosurf.