Just interested to see what the frequency is in other marriages.

43 comments

  1. What difference does it make? Mom and daughter are close. Good for them.

  3. I talk to my mommy almost everyday, for about 15-20 minutes 🥰 she lives 3 hours away.

  4. Oh geez.

    I mean once a day is par for the course. If it’s two or three or four times a day yeah it’s a problem…. Good luck. Google enmeshment.

  5. My parents were gone by time I was 30. Wish I could call 3 times a day. What difference does it make

  6. Three times a day is way way too much. I’m assuming you’re sick of it right? Is your wife sick of it? Despite what other commenters say, it’s perfectly normal and fine to be sick of it. It’s not normal to be on the phone with your mom three times per day.

  7. We lose our mothers way too soon. Leave her alone. Find a hobby and a friend.

  9. Well I talk to my mum once a week for hours. My mother in law talks to her mum every day for like 30 mins. It really depends on the person. It is actually super cool your wife and mother in law talk so much!

    However, if it interferes on your time it can be a problem. For example, if my husband answers a call and talks during dinner- I would get pissed. If it’s during lazy couch time, don’t care. I also ask my husband if it is ok if I answer a call around him and he does that too (sometimes, actually mad at him right now about answering a call with his brother, WHILE I WAS TALKING TO HIM during dinner…. soooo mad at him hahahah so your post resonated with me).

    I don’t wanna say your wife should talk less to her mother, cuz we all should talk as much as we can to our parents, especially if we don’t live with them.

  11. My sister and I talk multiple times a day and she comes over about 5 times a week. When she’s struggling she’ll drop her kids off for me to feed and she does the same for me. Sounds weird, maybe but we love each other’s kids are support each other. Our husbands, nor our children have ever had an issue.

    ETA: we live 4 minutes door to door and I moved here specifically to be close by

  12. Lol my wife would be on the phone with her mom 24 hours if she could. Her mom is basically her only friend really outside work(she has a few but would rather talk to her mom). They talk everyday

  13. My SO used to talk with her mom like this as well. It wouldn’t bother me per sa but I would wonder why all the calls and chit chat. And then one day it hit me…why im I wondering what they talk about? It doesn’t affect me one bit. And in the grand scheme of things it matters nothing to me. And so I let it go. The end. 😅

  14. I talk to my mom every day, sometimes for over an hour.

    She’s not in the best health and was in care facility for 4 months after hip replacement surgery.

    My husband is smart enough to not comment on the frequency or length of time I spend on the phone with her.

  15. If it’s not interfering in our marriage, whatever. Talk as much as she wants. But, if these are long conversations that interrupt our married life, changes would have to be made.

  16. The dynamics and opinions here would be totally different if OP said “My husband talks to his mom three times a day, is that weird?”

  17. 5,6,7 it doesn’t matter a lot. They’re best friends though. Me on the other hand I might talk to mine 2x a month. Hers I might talk to 1x a month.

  18. I don’t believe the frequency is an issue if it isn’t interfering with your marriage or time together. If you’re intentionally planning to do something or talk with your wife, then sure. Have a talk about it because your marriage is important. But if her chats with her mom are happening while you guys are just having downtime, I don’t see it as a problem.

    My mom likes to call multiple times a day. I’m the daughter she comes to for everything. But I know when to cut it short if I’m in the middle of something with my husband or kid. Moms are usually understanding and are usually just bored and want to talk to their kids. 😅

  19. I talk / FaceTime with my mom multiple times a day, everyday. If my husband tried to tell me to talk to her less, that would really piss me off.

  21. When we married I always reminded my wife to call her mom about once a week. She was the last to leave the nest, and while her mom respected our time as newlyweds I figured she must be missing her youngest. My wife was all caught up in our new life together & wouldn’t think to call for quite a while.

  22. I talk to my mom once to three times a day. I see my mom on the days i don’t. On the occasion when we go out (my husband, myself n my kids) then i won’t talk to her for a day or two.

    We normally talk from a couple minutes to 30. I keep it short when my husband is home so we can focus on each other.

  23. I text my mom and sister all throughout the day, we don’t talk on the phone but I would if I had more free time.

  24. She should be able to talk to her mother as much as she wants. I lost my mom last year and wish to God I could see her and talk to her again here on Earth.

  25. If my mom called me 3 times a day, every day, I would change my number.

  26. I don’t speak to mine often enough and my partner’s mom is dead. This makes me want to call my mother more, I know that if we lived closer and were on the same time zone we would speak more.

  27. My Dad calls me at least once a day, sometimes upwards of 3-4 times. I make a point to call him too, so he knows I’m interested in talking to him and it isn’t a one way street. Sometimes it seems daunting, but one day he won’t be here, and I know I’ll cherish the talks I had with him.

  28. We don’t get much time with our parents as adults. my mom and dad have worked since i can remember and ive been the mom of the house. my mom takes me& siblings out on shopping trips or out to eat from time to time, and my dad stays busy. But i don’t have an emotional connection with them other than they’re my parents and i love them. they annoy me sometimes. I’ve always envied the mom and daughter friend relationship. If you really want to interfere fine, but i really don’t think you should mess with a good thing.

  29. There is a group chat with my brother, my sister, my mom, and I. We talk in it throughout the day. I also talk to my mom on the phone every day.
    My husband doesn’t give a damn and would never try to interfere with the relationship that I have with my mom. She is my best friend and he respects/appreciates that.

  30. I wouldn’t want to hear from my mother every single day let alone multiple times in a day. We talk weekly.

  31. I talk to my mum once in a blue moon for about 3 seconds. At least they have a good relationship

  32. If your wife is happy with that much communication, I can’t see any issue. My MIL is super controlling and calls my wife 2-3 times a day as a means of control. Hopefully that’s not the case with you. If it is, there’s not much you can do beyond being supportive, but not pushy, of her setting some boundaries.

  33. Dude, don’t be one of those spouses that gets jealous of a parent/child relationship. The best thing you can do is love & respect her side of the family.

  34. It’s usually the issue of whoever is calling (so, your MIL’s). Unfortunately, you can’t do much. One has to be respectful of other’s family dinamics unless it’s affecting your family dinamics with your wife. (I wouldn’t suggest to your wife to ask her to reduce the calls… But ask why is her mum talking about?) Figure out why they’re calling and that’ll help you understand the situation better.

    It’s obviously an unhealthy form of attachment.

    My sister 38F calls my mum about 6-8 times per day. For background, my sister is married (7years), it’s a mum of a 4F and 1F. Has 2 home office jobs and is a “SAHM”.

    My mum 61F hates it. The constant calling.

    My brother 36M calls mum twice a day. Or once if he’s busy.

    My SIL 37F calls as much as her son 2M is doing something worth sharing (once a week or 3 times a day).

    I 31F call my mum … when I need to ask something (for example I left my wallet on Wednesday at her house) or about 3 times a week.

    My husband says calling my mum 3 times a week is too much. He calls his parents about once a month.

    I do agree that more than once a day is too much. My brother just calls at lunch or after leaving work to have a nice conversation (he’s having issues at home).

    My sister calls … to share every single random thing.

    I call because mum guilt trips me. I visit twice a week and call those 2 days (to confirm we’re still having lunch) and once more because I want to share my week and talk about hers (mostly the upcoming plans).

    Mum doesn’t call any of us.

    I guess, my sister calls that much to be less present in her own life? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe a distraction of her life situation.

  35. I’m 29 and been with my husband 13years with 2 kids. My mum has passed. But we used to talk roughly every second or third day. Same with my dad.
    Now some times I talk to my dad up to 5 times a day. Not hour long convos. 5-10mins. Other times, If I’m busy I won’t talk to him for a week. But never any longer than that. Drives my husband crazy because he feels like my dad is always in our life!
    But we share a lot of common interests. I love investing in the property market and so does he so that’s usually our topic of conversation and how well our investments are going lol.

  36. I think 3 calls a day is too much imo. Unless the mom is super sick or there’s a reason for the calls except “I miss you!” I personally get annoyed if/when my partner’s mom calls everyday just to chat. She usually calls during dinner and that is supposed to be a “no phones” time in our house. Luckily she doesn’t do that anymore.

  38. Omg. My wife and mom talk all the time. It drives me insane… my MIL will be at our place for however long, and then I’ll find them on a phone call together within the next few hours.

    No idea how two people can communicate so much with each other…

  39. r/marriage, the bond between a wife and her mother is precious so don’t fuck with it.

    Also r/marriage, the bond between a husband and his mom is not normal. That mama’s boy needs to get his head out of his ass and start focusing on his wife.

    Never a surprise but always a disappointment.

  40. I talk to my mom multiple times a day. She’s my best friend besides my husband tbh. 🤷🏻‍♀️ as long as your MIL isn’t being toxic to you or your wife and/or interfering in your relationship, it shouldn’t be a problem

  41. Context is needed. Does it interfere with your marriage and personal time? Is it quick chats or long chats? Is your mother in law in poor health? Do you have an okay relationship with your mother in law? All of these things can change a person’s view.

    I talk to my mom via messaging every few days just because our schedules do not align and I’m not a super social person myself. My husband talks to his mom a bit more frequently and while I personally do not understand it because my own relationship with my mom is different, it doesn’t interfere with our marriage and he doesn’t put her above me and our son. So I think context matters here.

  42. It is too much. I call my mom once a week on weekends. If she calls in between I say I am busy and hang up. I am very busy but also I don’t want to give her every piece of information of what’s happening in our life so that she can micro manage or give me unwanted advice.

  43. the frequency isnt the problem – but if her moms opinions and needs are encroaching into you and your wifes decision processes then that is an overstepping of boundaries

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