My boyfriend made a sign saying ‘Bite Me’ for a female friend.
My boyfriend (26) and I (21) have been together for a year this summer. We have become very close & have helped one another get through some terrible hardships this past year.
He is a woodworker, starting a new business but is short on cash. He will occasionally borrow money from me for tools, gas, etc. I don’t mind, I love him & want to help him establish himself with this new undertaking.
I recently bought him a router & accessories for $250.
To sum things up with how this ties together, he recently met a girl my age at a craft show 3 weeks ago & she was extremely forward towards him. She made business cards for him & decorated one of his bird houses, as well as sitting with him during craft shows when I am working on the weekend. I was skeptical, and frankly still am, due to her coming across almost flirty. He has seemed very secretive about this new friendship, but has reassured me that she has a boyfriend & they are just friends. He doesn’t tell me much of any details, all I know is she is my age, he is not attracted.
I am very worried, since he cheated on his last girlfriend, but blames it on various drugs he was addicted to.
After I bought his router yesterday, he was very appreciative, telling me he’d pay me back soon & would like to make me a little sign or something. I thanked him, and said I’d think on a word & hope he enjoys the new toy.
Throughout messaging today I asked if he was able to practice with the router, & he said yes that he had a request. I said that was great, & asked what it was & he eventually sent me a photo of a sign saying ‘BITE ME’ engraved in the wood, no context. After I asked who it was for, he followed up saying that the girl that sat with him during the shows asked for it, and he wouldn’t be putting it on the website for photo samples. I said it was a ‘very strange request’ & ‘I can’t help but feel uneasy with her requesting this.’ I think it was completely inappropriate. He then proceeded to tell me that she asked him to make it for someone in her family, & he doesn’t understand why I get uneasy with her or her family. He has barely known her for 3 weeks & acts as though I have no validation in feeling some concern. I am hurting right now with not only the sign, but with the lack of transparency with this new relationship. I feel as though I want to break up with him before he potentially cheats on me too. I have not returned any of his messages for roughly 8 hours now, I’m trying to wrap my mind around what has been happening, and if I am in the wrong for feeling like this. I don’t want to act to hasty, in case I am being unfair. What should I say next? If you read into this, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR: My boyfriend made a sign for a new female friend reading ‘BITE ME’ I expressed my discomfort over it & he has invalidated my feelings. I am debating on breaking up with him, & have not returned any missed calls/texts in more than 8 hours.
6 comments
I think this is a much bigger issue than it should be, due to him cheating on his ex.
If that didnt happen, you probably wouldnt be freaking out this much.
Having said that, it seems pretty innocuous at the moment. I wouldnt say you are completely wrong for having your current thoughts….but I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Its entirely possible that this gets worse….but it could also be nothing.
Give it a bit more time.
It really doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t.
Break up with him.
He’s a known cheater who isn’t being transparent and you clearly don’t trust him. You deserve someone better.
Find a way to spend time with her! Go to one of these craft shows and give her a genuine shot to be a decent person. Then u can suss out how she acts and how ur bf acts. Find out if she even knows about u. Or if she has a bf.
If you can’t trust him not to cheat on you, break up with him.
I’d be more concerned about his idea of what a ‘business’ is.
So the part where he’s a mooch who makes excuses for his past infidelities doesn’t bother you … but some goofy sign does?
Unless there’s some weird cultural difference here where “Bite Me” has flirtatious or sexual connotations in your community … I don’t get it. Because I’ve never heard Bite Me as anything other than a schoolyard comeback.