is this a thing? before I met up with this girl for a date she told me she’s not into pda. we matched on an app and I still got a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. she also sounded like she’s down to go on a second date. I’m not sure what to think?? or does this just mean she’s not really into me? I asked her about hand holding and she says she has to get to know the person first. she told me this over the phone before we met up. we matched on an app also and she messaged me first.
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I’m the same way, doesn’t mean I don’t like the person I just don’t like pda
Definitely doesn’t mean she isn’t into you.
The girl is managing expectations. She is telling you up front what she can and can’t offer. I’m publicly very affectionate with my partner but not everyone is brought up that way. It is a built in taboo for some people and some people are just not comfortable and view any kind of intimacy as very private.
If I were you, id take her informing me as a green flag in communication. You have to now consider if pda is a deal breaker for you. If it is, then you guys are not compatible. If it is not, then you should give this a chance.
You can also just keep in mind to look for other signs that she isn’t into you IF more such instances of refusal to do normally accepted stuff in relationships occur. Otherwise you have little to worry about.
I’m the same way. I just get shy with PDA.
PDA is a very different experience for men and women. Women are judged harshly for the same behaviors men are praised for on the regular. Don’t break up over no interest in PDA. Stay together or not over private displays of affection.
If she’s announcing it to you before you meet at all, it’s probably a well known preference on her part.
No. It just means she doesn’t like PDA. That’s great she communicated this to you.
I don’t like PDA either. The thought of someone holding my hand while we’re working bothers me
I hate PDA too.
I had a girl I met at a bar get pissed at me once because I wouldn’t kiss her in the bar but I did out by her car in the parking lot. It had nothing to do with her I just didn’t like the pda. That kind of thing doesn’t need to be shared with an audience. I don’t like watching people make out in public so why would I want to do it myself?
Yup I’m also the same. I don’t show PDA even when I was with my ex of 3 years, but at home.. that’s a diff story hahaha
Believe it or not, there are people uncomfortable with PDA. And some who phyiscal love language is one of their last ones. I am one of them 🙂
Me not doing PDA with someone doesn’t mean I don’t like them. I show my interest in other ways such as spending quality time and giving my full attention to the date- not being on my phone for say.
To each their own, but if it bothers you so much, then don’t continue dating her
…she literally told you, why don’t you trust her?
She doesn’t like PDA and told you. What’s not to understand?
I don’t like PDA either, but I still very much like my girlfriend.
It means exactly that. I Woman whose really into u loves nothing more then holding ur hand in public so she can show the world the Man she loves.
In my opinion, hand holding is not “PDA”, so she’s overreacting on that. But otherwise, no, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not into you. It just means she doesn’t like making out in public.
I mean how much clearer can she be? It means she’s not into public displays of affection. Nothing more, nothing much. I can relate to that because I am that person. Detailed PDAs are a sign of insecurity in my opinion and I’m not insecure in my relationships.
appreciate the feedback
Same, same, can’t stand it, regardless of how much I was into someone
Whether she’s into you or not shouldn’t be your focus. Focus on how you feel. Are YOU into her? Are you ok with no pda? Or do you feel it is something you need from the person you are dating or are in a relationship with. Physical touch, including pda, is something I *need* in order to feel cared for. I’ve been there where they aren’t into holding hands and it hurts. Don’t do that to yourself. By contrast, I’ve dated someone that loved holding my hand (even while he was driving), kisses, fun little booty pats when no one is looking lol. It would be a deal breaker for me tbh.
If she’s not into you, let her tell you that. You can’t control anyone else’s thoughts or actions. Don’t jump to conclusions. Trust her words…that these are just her boundaries. I imagine walking in a park or along the beach. You’re talking, laughing, smiling and making eye contact, having a nice romantic moment…and you’re not allowed to touch her?? To hold her hand or to kiss her. What about a hug? Man that would make me feel like shit. Think about if this is something you really want or can handle. Best of luck to you!
I used to not be into pda because I was embarrassed and self conscious about what people would think about my affection towards my partner. But then when I gained confidence in myself I realized if I want a kiss I can have a kiss. Even if we’re not in each other’s bedrooms you know? I still don’t do too much because I hate watching other people kiss so I’d assume other people don’t want to see it either. But if I want a peck and we’re visible I don’t panic or hate it anymore.
It’s nothing personal.
My partner and I are the same. We’ll hold hands, give little kisses or hugs but we certainly don’t make out or sit in each laps when out.
Doesn’t mean she’s not into you. I’m the same way. However for me alongside not being into pda, it’s being really anxious around new people. I would sit down with her or maybe have a facetime if it makes it less stress inducing, and ask her directly.