Me and my bf have been dating for a while now and I really just am not satisfied completely with our sex. He tried his best but it doesn’t get me to where I need to be. Since this is happening I literally feel like I have a built up orgasm waiting to happen. I get so close and then it doesn’t happen because he will get tired or will just miss the true spot altogether. I’m so sexually frustrated. Not to mention that we have a kid and our work schedules really fucking suck now since I work nights and he works overnight. I don’t want to have sex with other people but since I can’t get it from him I can’t help but think about it. I love him but I wanna get off. And for the record I have tried to masterbait and I can do it successfully but there’s nothing like the real thing.
6 comments
Have you communicated with him about this? I strongly believe communication is more than half of getting it right. You could also try watching educational videos together and reading books or websites for advice and guidance. Searching in this sub for other posts by people who have had similar esperiences is a good help.There are certainly things you can try before putting your relationship at risk by being unfaithful. It does seem like he has much to learn and communicating that to him may help.
I think you should try communicating with him and teaching him how to do it and really take your time and be patient with him so he can try to learn. For me at first it was a little bit confusing until I did it a couple times and listened to my partner
Edit: don’t expect to orgasm when you do teach him just to make it better for next time! 👍
Maybe try incorporating sex toys.
You need to talk to him. Maybe he is selfish or maybe he just doesn’t realise. Do you say what you want? What about masturbating to get yourself off while he holds you, kisses you, talks dirty etc.
Try a more playful approach and tell him that you want to play a game where his challenge is to get you as wet and aroused as possible. The rules: He has immediate access to every inch of your bod, but may use only [his hands and mouth to touch you](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/savage/). Encourage him to linger at your favorite hot spots by being vocal when he’s rubbing you the right way. When you’re so aroused you can’t stand it anymore, give him the [go-ahead to slip inside of you](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/12/thrust/).
But about the orgasm itself, many – perhaps most – women orgasm only through very direct clitoral stimulation. educate your boyfriend about what is real and true for you. Teach him exactly how you like to be touched and trying out the far more useful and appreciated techniques of manual or oral clitoral attention. Encourage him in his efforts, be tolerant of his early mistakes and praise him when he gets it right.
You can also find ways to have him excite you more during intercourse by direct additional manual contact with your clitoris, or you could touch yourself.
Male’s failure to give orgasms are often based on simple inexperience, poor technique, or embarrassment about not knowing what to do. [Teach him](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/female-101/), and you will both be very grateful.
I am not sure if it’s me but the title of your post seems like you are looking for something [more than just a mere orgasm](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/12/alpha-male/)
You won’t believe the magic that is communication.