I (26F) have been in a long term relationship for 9 years with my boyfriend (26M). We met in high school and never broke up ever since. It wasn’t really serious at first (we both knew that school and family were our top priorities in life at that time) but we ended up being really good friends/lovers at the same time, which is why I think it lasted for so long.
About a year ago, I flew to another country for grad school and we’ve been trying to make long-distance work. But ever since I came here, I’ve been loving the freedom that I have. I’m not interested in anyone at all, I’m just very in love with the independent (single-ish) life that I have right now. I’m enjoying my life here so much that I don’t really get to talk to him as often as we planned. Now, I feel a gap between us that when we talk I feel some sort of disconnect. It’s not love, nor hate. I think it’s indifference on my end. I can’t really speak for his.
We’ve talked about thoughts on marriage and settling down before, but now I’m not so sure. I feel like we want different futures now. He wants to settle down in our home country and I wanted that, too. I was just going to finish my studies here and then go back. But things changed when I came here (at the risk of sounding cheezy) I felt like I found myself here. I can really see myself living here for so much longer than I thought. Not necessarily settling down with a family but living an independent life. I guess it’s because I never really got to experience that before. But now I don’t really know what to do. I still really care for him that’s why I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. But at the same time, I feel like I’d be lying to him if I go on as if nothing is bothering me.
I really need some advice. Thank you.
1 comment
You know what they say, “out of sight, out of mind”