Toxic before even being together ?

I 23 M started to date a 22 F back in March. We went on two dates and they both were great: we kissed, held hands and so on. Problems arose later cuz we couldnt never see each other and things got cold. She doesnt like to text, had problems with her parents, and so on. I was far from perfect during the time we talk: i am anxious, and sometimes have breakdowns towards people. I berated her two times for things that she did to me which in retrospective were bad but didnt deserve such a reaction from my part. However, even though I deserved to get blocked, she continued talking to me but she was even dryer through text. Its okay, so I kinda accepted that she lost all interest from me or wtv. So I told her that we should part ways, that we werent compatible, and it was toxic before even being together. So, fast forward 3 weeks, she calls me out of nowhere, saying that we werent at the right time and so on. That she wants to go out, start as friends and such. Well, I was down, cuz considering how we ended up before, I was glad she gave me a second chance. So I asked her out to go for a walk, she seemed that she was down and such: well, we were for sure going. But she stood me up. I was so anxious so mad at her for playing with me… Even though Im not perfect and she has endured shit from me, I think to stood someone is the worts… Even after we had kinda a history (even though we have only 4 months of knowing each other…). I though that I deserved something and someone better than that… Well, the next day she tells me that she was depressed and thats why. Well, I understand but still, you gotta tell me… I have dealt with that too, I know. Well, so I decided to sent her a text telling her that I was still interested on her… All bcz of the two dates, cuz those were the best two dates i’ve been. Well, she ignored me and didnt say anything. Shes scared of saying no or smt.

Well, yesterday i ask her if she could loan me some money (I helped her out before). Well, she couldnt and was kinda sad that she couldnt help me. Thats basicaly it. With this chick we’ve been very toxic… Idk why cuz when we see each other its so good… If I was her I wouldnt continue talking to me after the first berating… Well she did, even after the 2nd and such. But yeah, I like her but I think I deserve better. We both do. But somehow I think that she might be just genuinely going through a rough path, and doesnt want anything serious, or perhaps she found someone and shes just being nice. But I try to communicate seriously with her, but unsuccesful.

Please dont attack my actions. I know what I did wrong and since she reached out to me i’ve been acting more chill, no anxious or anything. So yeah, I dont understand why she would reach out and then stood me up.

Thanks.