how did the loss of a loved one felt like for you?

7 comments

1. I lost my father to suicide in 2019, and my brother was murdered in March. Its a cycle of extreme pain and disbelief, anger.. I haven’t accepted my brothers death, I refuse to because I don’t think I am able to handle what that amount of chest wrenching pain will feel like. Logically I know he’s gone but I don’t absorb it. It isn’t real to me. Pain and sorrow.

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3. The shock happens, then the denial of it being real. We just lost our sister june 5, and the road of grief is never easy. Some days we think she’ll walk up, but she won’t. I keep thinking this is some sick joke, but reality is sinking in that this world is cruel, and they took away my sister, someone aunty, someone wife, a friend even.

   A piece of me is now missing, and it wont ever come back.

4. It’s never easy. I’ve lost four family members from cancer and most recently my step dad last year after being in a vegetative state from an accidental trauma. I started therapy so that was helpful to deal with the grief but it still comes in waves. Now I can happy cry from memories instead of sad cry from loss. Day by day.

5. I don’t think it’s something you can really describe in words. It’s also very different for everyone, isn’t a linear thing.

   My dad passed a year ago and I’ll go weeks and feel ok, then just have a bout of really hard days.

   For me, at first I felt very numb. I think it was just my brains way of protecting itself/me. It just felt very surreal.

   It start to hit me very slowly, and in some ways is still hitting me.

6. My mom died 3 years ago. I cried a lot in the first few weeks. Shock, disbelief, sadness, regret. Then for about the next year, I cried probably once a week at least. Now it’s maybe once every couple months.

   It’s still hard to accept. But it’s gotten easier. The grief will always be there, life will always be different without her. But it’s easier now to remember her and not just be sad when I think of her. I can reminisce without just crying.

   My dad, paternal grandmother, and maternal grandmother all died in 2020. Their deaths didn’t hit me quite as hard, since I wasn’t as close to them, and there were some mixed feelings, but still sadness and some regret.

7. During the first months I wanted it to be a sick joke he was playing, wanted him to text me “kidding🤪” and wanted to get super angry at him for making me cry but it didn’t happen. Denial is tough.

   Our friend group completely shattered after and we’ve lost all contact, so I feel pretty lonely ever since. They were my safe place and I really believed we would be together forever.
   It’s really hard to accept that all the future plans we had thought of will never happen.

   Music still remindes me of him a lot.

   What helps me the most is that, at least, I know for sure he knew how much I love him.

   I sometimes listen to his voice notes.