I’d like to see answers to both questions and gain perspective

Edit: Reverse of the question will be posted tmr. Also I hope all of these people are ex’s

Edit 2: I’m male btw

28 comments

  2. A complete lack of trust, constant accusations, trying to control who my friends are, gaslighting, and overall just being an absurdly jealous person

  6. He needed everything perfect and Im certainly not perfect ,so he tried to dictate clothes and hair. He would never stay at mine or meet my family. I never met his friends. We lasted 16 months. Shame really.

  7. Selfishness

    Examples:

    Sleeping until whenever they wanted, I’d have days off from work that I’d want to spend with them but they would sleep the entire day because the night before they were up all night doing whatever, I ended up spending most of my days off completely alone =|

    Spending money on BIG things without talking to me first, had a boyfriend that was saving up money to get out of debt so we could move in together and he spent almost 600 bucks on a console and some games, told me it was a “good investment” I ended up having to pay for a lot of his meals and help him because of this

    BEING LAZY

    An example of this is when I find myself doing 99.9% of the chores and daily driving and cleaning and food shopping, and they refuse to help me and then do nothing but complain when they do, that’s when I feel more like a mother than a girlfriend, it’s not fucking cool, help your girlfriend do shit

  9. He wanted things his own way, would only talk about superficial things and didn’t consider my needs or reciprocation. Discovering his tactic was deceit by omission was the worst insult.

  11. Would never tell me how he felt in the relationship, but would tell everyone else.

    Oh yeah.. and cheating on me the whole time.

  12. Being insecure about people’s views on a timeline about getting engaged/married when I was never worried about it; I just wanted to be with him, but he felt pressure from outsiders.

    Pushing me when I wasn’t ready to FIGHT but wanted to gather my thoughts, and just wouldn’t let me have a moment.

    Being contradictory about being friendly with exes, but I wasn’t allowed to. Yes, just friends on my end, but, not on his, funny how that happens lol

  13. Lack of effort. I think I am fairly low patience, but it is nice to have someone plan a day trip or something to do.

  15. Had to have me direct him about doing everything (“please clean the sink” “OK how”), including putting the onus on me to tell him how to support me–rather than responding to me with warmth he’d respond asking for instructions. It drove me batshit crazy. It left me in a weird way where I always feel the need to plan/direct everything when in actuality I want someone else to take the lead and give me a break.

  16. Just not communicating. It started as my best relationship ever, and I truly still believe he did not intend to be hurtful/mean, but he started to distance himself from the relationship whilst still being in it. I felt like I was dragging a dead horse around but whenever I tried to have a conversation about it, he kept denying everything and if I pushed a little further he completely shut down (literally walked away or went to sleep). I finally had to pretty much break up with myself in his name because he didn’t have the guts to do it.

    ​

    JUST TELL YOUR SO WHEN SOMETHING IS THE MATTER, don’t let things build up & explode/implode over time. Communication is key if you want a succesful relationship.

  17. 1. Abusing me (this is more than just physical. It includes emotional, psychological, sexual)
    2. Refusing to do a fair share of household tasks (he spent literally 3 minutes on housework per week. Yes, 3 minutes)
    3. Refusing to parent the child he really really wanted us to have
    4. Not listening to anything I said, and invalidating me every time I voiced a concern or complaint
    5. Mocking me (not in a friendly in-joke type of way, but just nasty, mean mocking)
    6. Belittling me
    7. Twisting everything so I ended up apologising even when it was very clear he was the one in the wrong. Gaslighting.
    8. Giving me an STI
    9. Cheating (and catching said STI in the first place)
    10. Not encouraging me to follow my dreams or aspirations in any way, only allowing me to have dead end jobs. Not by saying “you are not allowed”, but by just making it too difficult to organise due to lack of support around the house, or with the kids, and constantly actively discouraging it
    11. Not allowing me to have any hobbies, even just things like reading books, because I wasn’t available for him at a moments notice if I did so
    12. Ignoring me in favour of friends, every day all day
    13. Having zero empathy for anybody in the world except himself
    14. Being SO lazy and SO selfish

    To be honest I could write a book about the things my ex did, that made me leave him. But unfortunately the things he did are very common things men do in relationships, more so in some cultures than others.

  18. hit me, major deal breaker. was self destructive and couldn’t take responsibility for his actions. walked all over everyone no matter if they were friends or family.

  19. Being too jealous, clingy, cry everytime I’d try to call him out on his mistakes, and wouldn’t leave me alone when I’d try to go out with friends.

  20. Laziness in both our relationship and life. No real goals, didn’t want to work, couldn’t keep a job. He was indifferent about everything and just didn’t try. I just got tired of having to be someone’s mother and motivator all the time.

  22. Telling me that I could talk to them about anything, then telling me I should talk to a therapist instead of them, then being upset when I would choose not to share stuff because “I thought we could talk about anything…”

  23. Blaming me for his problems even when I tried to be supportive it was never good enough. Over analyzing what I say or text while not actually listening to me cause he always thought I would mean something else and I’m not that way. I say what I mean and nothing more. Putting words in my mouth. Being constantly negative and not putting in the effort to do anything about his issues. Walking on eggshells is no way to live.

  24. He was a habitual cheater. Cheated before me, cheated on me, and cheated after me.

  25. Not taking any responsibility for his own life trajectory and happiness. He was miserable AF and I asked in what ways I could help or give support, and he said: “I don’t know, you’re my wife, you’re supposed to figure it out”.

    I divorced him. Obviously.

    I’ll never date a fucking man-child ever again, nor get married (but the latter for many other reasons unrelated to this post 😂).

    Akso, and OP – curious to know your age

  26. Being too needy and insecure. I felt suffocated by him. On top of that, he would talk down to me.

  28. Lack of affection/sex. Perpetually grouchy. Unable to have any deep conversations. Always short on money and expecting me to always have his back but he couldn’t have mine.

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