Real talk: How am i supposed to tell the difference between genuine disinterest and “playing hard to get”?

26 comments

1. I just treat them both as genuine disinterest and call it a day.

2. Why you care?

   If she is not interested leave her alone.
   If she plays hard to get you should leave.
   So in both cases you should do the same.

   P.S. The answer is if you ignore her and she starts messaging you she was most likely playing. Buy if you are smart you move on.

3. You don’t.

   Playing “hard to get” means flirting and building sexual tension, but not putting out too quickly.

   A woman who is interested, but feigning disinterest, is playing “hard to want”. Don’t play this game, it’s doomed to failure

4. When in her presence it’s her body language and facial expressions. If she always tends to be near you and smiling then she’s interested. If she knows you like her, but she doesn’t like you, she’ll go out of her way to keep distance and not make much eye contact. smile, etc. to keep you from engaging.

5. treat it as they’re not interested and move on. Don’t play or let them play stupid games.

6. Indifference. The ones playing hard to get will have a negative reaction to indifference.

   But I ain’t about those games.

7. The only way to win is not to play when it comes to adult women playing childish games

8. Hard to get: Flirts a lot, wants to hang out, misses something you invited them to, but is always willing to make the next outing. Repeat.

   Genuinely disinterested: Actively avoids you and makes it obvious they are avoiding you–not showing up to things you invite them to, keeps away from you in social settings, etc. Does not repeat.

9. In the past 30+ years, I’ve had several potential partners/playmates ask at some point “Why is it that we never did anything?” and I’d tell them because you said ‘No’ or that you said something like “I’m not interested in you that way” and every one of them said, ‘But I was just just playing hard to get, you should have pushed me’ or that we could have done something right then if I didn’t accept no as an answer.

   No means no. You can’t have it both ways. The guys that respect you and your mind will hear ‘No’ and they’ll stop. It isn’t playing hard to get, it’s just lying or trying to find the asses that you’ll complain about all your life that force themselves upon you.

   If a person wants a decent guy, they shouldn’t be ‘playing’ hard to get. And guys, we’re better off avoiding the others who play head games to begin with.

10. seems to be that if it’s someone else, it’s playing, and if it’s me…

11. IMHO, playing hard to get is just a mind fuck, I’d walk away.

12. She’s not interested

13. There’s no reason why you should care.

14. The truth is: There is no difference. Everything that is not a clear ‘yes’ means ‘no’. There is no playing hard to get, there is no such thing as mixed signals.

15. The restraining order

16. Either she’s disinterested in you or she likes to play games. Neither are a great start for relationships. I want a life partner, not someone who wants to play games.

17. You can’t, treat them both the same. As disinterest.

18. She plays games with you before the relationship, she’ll play games with you in the relationship.

    If I want to play a game I’ll boot up my pc.

19. You can’t, that’s part of the point. At any time they can pull the plug and you look like the asshole

20. You’re not, that’s the point with playing hard. It’s to get the other person to commit more, that means you know exactly where you have them.

    Where real love tends to give the feeling of you both kinda being a bit lost, not just one of you.

21. Men don’t play games.

    Boys play games.

22. if she plays hard to get and you ignore her she’ll want you more. so just act the same either way

23. Even if there is a distinction–and there is, why bother trying to navigate it?

    Stop wasting *your time* playing *other people’s* games.

    Someone who plays hard to get is telling you explicitly that they are the kind of person who will absolutely waste your time.

24. I never bothered. If she wants to play pain in the ass she probably is one, if she’s disinterested best to leave her alone. Win/win.

25. Oh, that’s easy. If after you take her at her word and quit trying, then she gets angry at you for not ‘trying harder’ she was a delusional bitch playing ‘hard to get’.

    And you dodged a bullet.

26. In the words of an internet meme.”Ain’t nobody got time for that.”