Need to commiserate? Get it off your chest! We know dating can be frustrating and this is the place to talk about it.

25 comments

  1. I never imagined I would be having a week lined up like this! After escaping my failed 12-year marriage, and then finally cutting ties with the avoidant bartender I dated for the last 5 months, I seem to have found myself in a sudden dating wonderland! I have 3 dates all lined up this week with 3 different, all seemingly wonderful men!

    Tonight, drinks with a really cute somewhat younger dude with the same career and interests, we hit it off online quickly and easily and set up a date. Very easy rapport, no feelings of anxiety heading into the date. Just easy and quick set up, nothing too much for communication, low expectations with the possibility for great results.

    Next date after that is a second date with the literal sexiest man I have ever dated in my life. He’s French, a motocross instructor, and the perfect combination of sexy, sultry, dirty, and respectful. Our first night together was so freaking hot, he is so freaking hot, we both have expressed ongoing excitement about one another. He gives me this attention that I had forgotten how much I enjoy. And, did I mention how hot he is? Good lord!

    Third date is a man that as soon as we started talking I was a bit blown away by how easy and fun it was. Very different and unique. We texted for a few days to the point where I was worried it would fall flat in person (I was sick and had lost my voice), but we spoke on the phone last night for FOUR straight hours. Who does that? It’s so easy to talk to one another. I think he might be pretty darn likable.

    Who am I?! This is awesome!

  2. Tired of people acting like not having one specific thing you are looking for is some sort of huge red flag. I’m open to the possibility that good things could come in various different forms and I might not know the exact perfect path to happiness.

    Open to a monogamous or ENM situation? Red flag in both communities. Open to serious relationship or casual connections? Look out for this one…

    The insecurity people have around these things drives me crazy; afraid we might get in to something and suddenly want to change it up. If our thing is actually a good thing then it’s not gonna just dissolve like that. If it’s not the right thing, there are like a million reasons that could lead to that…it’s literally just as easy for someone who knows they want one thing to decide you are not that one thing… probably easier because they are less flexible.

  3. How hard is it to set a date for a date?

    Like, it’s so annyoing! We’ve already texted for a while, said we’re super interested in each other, I’m dropping possible dates and your just telling me you’re busy Tue and Wed’s every week. Or your out of town Sat. Okay?? So, then what works for you?

    And joking about how you’re being noncommital isn’t funny. It makes me feel cheap and replaceable

  4. Honestly emotionally drained dealing with guys on OLD. Whether I speak first or not – one word or boring answers, low effort replies, slow replies, never ask about myself or talk about anything interesting despite me trying to carry the convo through other subjectsšŸ„± Itā€™s like the world has become so socially inept itā€™s ridiculous. What more do I need do to? I donā€™t think itā€™s my profile as I get plenty matches it just seems the guys I match with, once Interaction occurs, they are sooo boring and come across so uninterested. Whatā€™s happened to you guys?!

  5. Watched The Tinder Swindler, which was a good reminder that “sparks” truly mean nothing!

  7. Rant: I’m so tired of being single. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. The guys I like always lose interest, but the ones I don’t like seem to want me. I’m attractive and have been told I have a great personality. I’m kind and intelligent. I’m emotionally stable and have been in therapy for almost 2 years. I wish I could just know what I’m doing wrong. I asked my ex to tell me and he said it was all him and never anything I did. Maybe it’s my self-esteem?

  9. Things have been going well with my bf of nearly 3 months however I’m hitting a stressful period with work and I’m facing a small health scare. I’ve shared this with him, tried to highlight my resilience etc but I’m worried it’s going to freak him out. He’s very low drama/surface level and not all that open about things himself.

    The things he’s said in response are nice vague platitudes but a) I’m worried he’s going to think I’m a bit chaotic and peace out and/or b) I’m questioning how emotionally supportive he is anyway. I’ve dated similar guys who are a little emotionally constipated but stable, which is good and grounding for me. I’ve also dated guys who can connect more emotionally but have turned out to be manipulative. I’m not sure which is better in the long run.

  10. Yup, I am definitely in the bro zone with the guy I have feelings for. At least I have a good friend.

  11. Todays my birthday. Iā€™m doing it alone, watching a live stream of the orchestra and crying because Iā€™m tired of being alone for my birthday. And Iā€™m sorry but I am dreading stupid commercial Valentineā€™s Day and I just ughhhhhhhhh

  12. I hate feeling more and more alone after every failed attempt. Iā€™ve packed it up for now.

  13. I havenā€™t really dated in the last decade and started to put myself out there in 2020, most recently the third person Iā€™ve dated since.

    It literally just ended this past weekend (without saying so) after nearly 4 months. I already met his friends, had a ā€˜what are weā€™ conversation recently, and he was supposed to come out for my birthday. I asked him to go a week prior.

    He bailed last minute (830pm about to head out), made excuses and tried to offer to celebrate on his days off over the next few days later. I ignored him for the evening and then constructively wrote him the next day how I was feeling and he justā€¦ went silent. I havenā€™t spoke to him since and just started backtracking realizing all the subtle red flags that I should have acted on sooner.

    Iā€™m just really struggling with dating and itā€™s draining me. About to give up again. Doesnā€™t help that it takes a lot for me to even go out on that first date – Iā€™m a bit awkward and it takes me a bit to open up.

    Anyways, I know itā€™ll be fine but Iā€™m still hurting right now and wanted to get it off my chest. Just donā€™t understand how someone can just go silent after 4 months?

  15. Dating is intimidating. More so because I don’t really have much experience. I feel like a little kid pretending to be an adult. Everyone else has had more than just a handful of first dates. It feel like any of the women close to my age are massively further on in their development than myself. They have all had relationships and many have had children. Meanwhile I can’t relate to any of that, having never even had a second date. Worst part is that I have had dates ask if I was married. Sorry, I’m just clueless on this part of being an adult.

  16. dating in your 30sā€¦
    – OLD going super well for a few weeks and then ā€¦ life happens. he disappears. you disappear. any chance of rekindling?
    – meet a cool guy in personā€¦ but long distance and google tells you maybe heā€™s married?
    – other OLD matches that just donā€™t seem to get beyond a few sentences

    gotta just embrace the process right? šŸ˜†

  17. He said he has liked me for a couple years now (but only told me a month ago), I said we can date and get to know more each other more but it just feels like we are buddies hanging out in person because he doesnā€™t express anything nor is he physically close. Doesnā€™t share what he expects in a relationship as well and when Iā€™m trying to share, I feel uncomfortable because I donā€™t know what heā€™s thinking because heā€™s not saying anything. I know Iā€™m overthinking but heā€™s quite confusing. One thing I know for sure is that heā€™s a shy guy but I donā€™t know if heā€™s a half ass guy as well because I need to see effort (random phone calls, ask me out, more responsive, compliments) and Iā€™m not getting any but I am putting in those efforts. When we go out, Iā€™m the one always deciding where to go and not him. Itā€™s annoying. Why canā€™t a girl be brought out for a properly planned date for once (minimal effort)?

  18. my friend kept telling me to join this FB group for our city on “guys to watch out for on dating sites” and I was like honestly… I don’t care… I feel like everyone I end up interested in is a solid person, just not my type. I don’t think I’ve ever accidentally been on a date with a married guy etc. But she kept insisting so I figured I’d scroll through it just for the local tea.

    Def was surprised to see one of my last dates there!!

    I wasn’t sure about some of the stuff the girl posted (they had gone on only one date and I think maybe 20% of her post was being pissed off that he ghosted her eventually) but some of the stuff lined up with like tiny cues I had gotten from him and made sense. like he seemed very sexually experienced and maybe less vanilla but I didn’t realize until I saw the post that this meant a LOT of stuff way, way *way* beyond my comfort zone. Like he was a former dominatrix, fucked men’s wives while they watched, very heavy into BDSM scene, etc. She also included some misogynistic stuff he had said that I wasn’t into. And no judgment on the sex stuff but it was really wild to just find out about that on a FB group (and not on purpose either!!).

    Odd day

  20. While taking a break from dating for a year, I have done a lot of research on narcissism. Now Iā€™m scared to ā€œget back out thereā€ sorta speak for itā€™s hard for me to decipher between a genuinely nice guy vs someone who is wearing a nice guy mask. And I just recently watched **Netflix Tinder Swindler.** (Sigh) *My enemies…*

  23. Why do men say they like you but donā€™t think you two are compatible? Is that their nice way of saying they donā€™t see you for the long term? I keep hearing this.

  25. Big ol rant:

    Iā€™ve fallen for my FWB after not expecting to catch feelings. Weā€™re both out of LTRā€™s that we ended. We hang out constantly and text often. I stay at his 3-4 nights a week. I thought he was just a pretty face but heā€™s so much more and in fact heā€™s the kinda guy Iā€™m always looking for and seldom find. Oh, and thereā€™s a 9 year difference to my senior. :/

    Heā€™s been clear he doesnā€™t want the commitment but he, and I, are blurring the lines.

    I should end it but I donā€™t want to. Heā€™s purportedly going on the road for work 2 of 4 weeks soon and moving out of state in a year so I figure Iā€™ll keep it going until someone else comes along.

    Also, I was ghosted by an old flame who was seemingly very excited to hang out. I thought he was such a nice guy too.

    Ugh. Single/dating at 40 suuuuuuuuuuucks no matter how independent I am.

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