So I went on a date for coffee two days ago with this girl I met online (we’re both 25). We had been talking to each other for four or five days before. We have each others numbers and everything. The date was very good from what I could tell. We had good conversation, there were very few awkward moments, and she initiated conversations about “big picture” topics like our families (general information about them and also saying things like ‘if I ever meet them, …), our previous relationships, my thoughts on having kids (we agreed on this position), future plans, etc. Not stuff I usually go into on a first date, but like I said, she initiated these discussions.

A few times, she hinted at future communication. She’d say something like “keep me updated about what happens” after I told her about some family drama that will likely happen at an upcoming party. Near the end of the date, she said that she needed to tell me that she doesn’t drive, and just wanted me to know in case that was a problem. Of course, I said no and brushed it off with a joke so she didn’t feel awkward. She is a manicurist, so that topic came up again near the end of the date, and she sort of voluntarily grabbed my hands for a while and was talking to me about my nails. We joked and laughed a lot, so overall, I thought it went pretty well. We ended by me just saying that we should do it again, and she agreed and said to let her know when I’m free.

I texted her yesterday saying it was really nice meeting her and suggested we do something on Wednesday this coming week (I have off from work). She responded like five hours later saying “that sounds nice but I’ll be in Delaware that day!” (we live in NJ). So I replied maybe 30 min later saying “I see, when would you be free then?” and haven’t gotten a reply. I’m just confused as to why she seems uninterested all of a sudden when I can’t really find any flaws in the date or any of our interactions.

1 comment
  1. I know a few people that really just need a little time to answer to texts and stuff. The way this sounds, she isnt uninterested, maybe just a little busy or preoccupied?

    I would wait a little, or (like you did) ask her for a date, and find a way to make that work. That way she knows you are invested. Give it a little more time, and if she doesnt respond for an even longer period of time, then ask her about it. Knowing is better than not knowing, even if in that moment it hurts more.

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