Hi I’m 23 years old, and live with my 22 year old wife . We both come from total opposite families, I work a 60-70+ hour week between my day job and my side business, and my wife works a 40 hour week management position at a big store. I think that anyone that owns a business or knows someone that does, knows you are never not working. I get no willing help from her at all, I play 6 roles in my business, and take care of another property as well, but I get it, I wanted it so I deal with it, anyways When it comes to things to do around the house, it’s laundry, cleaning/mopping around, and dishes for 2 people in a small apartment . I give her credit for being the household cook, we split it from time to time when I’m home when she’s not, but the house maintenance is something that irks me a bit when I have to do it, especially after doing nothing but working and getting ready for bed day after day. My wife usually wait for things to build up or smell before anything gets addressed. Mind you there’s 4+ hours a day she has free 5 days a week,2 days off each week, i from times will work a month straight or longer before I have a day to my self between work and side work. I can come home after a late job at 9pm on a Sunday, come home to a mildly dirty house, no dishes available because they’re all piled in the sink, soggy stinking 3 day clothes sitting in the washer, and a wife passed out on the couch or stuck on tik Tok. I get her job is stressful, but what I don’t get is how it stops real simple housework from getting done until guest can make a comment about a dirty bathroom when she’s not around. Call me what you will, but if I could find the time to do those things and still juggle multiple task, I think a nap every day or drinks with friends could be sacrificed a day to take care of our home. Maybe I was raised different, I don’t know. Am I asking for too much ?we have argued about it before and it’s out a bit of a strain on us.
6 comments
Hire a maid and split the cost. Problem solved.
Couples counseling could help you both understand each other better. It’ll be tough to fit into your schedule, but worth it to correct the marriage’s course.
On a more practical level, you might want to hire a housekeeper? You don’t have time and energy for all that after seventy hours of hustling.
If you won’t hurt financially then just throw money at the problem. That way neither of you will find issue.
While I appreciate how much you work, ending up doing everything just because you have time is also very irritating. You get money and enjoyment out of doing your side business, doing household chores is just that, chores. She works too so why should she do it all? Or the bulk of it?
That’s why while I understand your frustration, I also understand her in not wanting to set a precedence of her being responsible for doing household chores alone.
A housekeeper is the best solution here
You chose to work that much. Split the household chores 50/50. It’s not her fault you’re a workaholic. I understand wanting the house to not be a disgusting mess. But if it bothers you and she does half, you should clean what makes you upset.
After 15yrs, I can tell you right now this way of thinking will be the end of your marriage down the road. You’re busy all week, every week by choice. Eventually it will cause problems, She is not your maid. She is your partner, treat her like it. Sorry but shit like this is irritating. She is not you, she doesnt operate the same way. Can she be a bit more tidy? Probably. The maid idea is a good advise, but its not going to solve the problem. Say she gets pregnant tomorrow, how do see it playing out? She doesnt work 7 days a week for a reason. You cant get mad about YOUR schedule and blame her for not living up to your standards.
Hire a house cleaner for 2 hours each week and do one chore each evening for maintenance.
I’m old school so this hasn’t a problem in our house. We both work full time and I do most of the inside chores (hubby’s job is to unload and load the dishwasher and that’s about it) and I maintain the vege garden and he mows the lawns.
I do about half an hour of housework each evening after work and the house stays pretty clean. Once a week I’ll do the bathroom, toilet, Change sheets and vacuum and mop. Takes about an hour all up and while I’m doing that, hubby is doing the lawns. But if neither of you can manage time, just hire a cleaner. I’m sure with all these incomes you can afford a couple of hundred dollars a week/fortnight to solve this.