This might sound very stupid but here goes.
I(f29) and my friend (m30) met two years ago and used to date. For the past year we’ve been friends on and off, but mostly on very good terms.
I am the type of person that will comment on people’s stories. Just simple things such as “nice photo” or “good luck”. I do this to this friend and he does the same to me. Sometimes the tone can get flirty when we are both single, but we both know it’s nothing serious and just banter. We actually had that conversation after the flirting got too heavy and we wanted to make sure no one was leading the other on. We met so now and then and nothing happens other than friendly catching up.
Today I commented on a photo he posted from his holiday. It was a simple “nice pic”. The last time we spoke before that was about a week ago and the conversation was mostly banter after he sent me a reel. His answer was something that didn’t need answering so I opened it just to get the notification away and saw the story was gone. This sparked some curiosity in me and I checked his profile to see his highlights had also disappeared. In other words, he has hidden his story from me. I wouldn’t have known this unless I had looked at his answer.
I have no idea why he would hide his story from me. As I said, we get along, we talk, we like each other’s photos etc. He also did it right after I had seen his story, which I know had been up for a few hours as I had seen it on my feed but hadn’t gotten around to it until then. He did this once before one month after we broke up for 24 hours. I knew then because I was in the obsessing phase, but now I wouldn’t have noticed unless he had answered my comment and I saw the story had gone which sparked my insane appetite for answers.
After some slothing on other social media, I found a video posted with the same pic on a different platform. It was nothing special but there was a girl in it briefly. I know this girl vaguely, he has known her longer than me but I think they’ve grown closer this year as I have seen her on his stories before and they have been away. I don’t want to give away too much information but they share a hobby and that is what they have been doing on these holidays so I don’t know if they are dating or just doing their hobby together.
As I said, no biggie. We are not romantically involved at all anymore and if he has a girlfriend I would be happy for him. In fact, he’s specifically made jokes about the fact that after him I seriously dated two younger guys so he knows I moved on (how he knew they were younger I have no idea). I have had guys on my story, he has had girls on his story. We haven’t been living in celibacy even though I have perhaps been more obvious when I am dating someone while he will make it seem like friends.
Anyways, I am worried about why he hid his story from me as it makes no sense. I have no idea what he would need to hide from me as we are only friends and I am afraid he thinks I would be upset. I have to be honest I am also extremely curious as one of my biggest flaws is needing answers and solving things (hence the fbi level slothing). I would do that no matter who it was if I found out they hid their stories from me.
I am also afraid talking to him about it would make it seem like a big deal when it really isn’t. I am just extremely curious as to what he feels he needs to hide from me and why. I know the best thing is probably to just ignore it as it has no impact on my life but it really does start an itch.
TL;DR; A friend for seemingly no reason hid his story from me on Instagram. This has made me go in circles chasing my tail as to why as I can’t really come up with a logical explanation and my answer-driven brain is going insane. I know I should just ignore it, but my brain keeps telling me to find answers, what should I do.
5 comments
Uh. You’re his ex and you wrote this long of a post just because he hid his story from you? Please stop obsessing over him and get your own life.
>I am also afraid talking to him about it would make it seem like a big deal when it really isn’t.
If it isn’t a big deal, then get on with your life instead of obsessing over it.
For whatever reason, he’s setting up a boundary. If you want to know why, ask him. If you don’t want to ask him, then drop it and move on with your life.
Clearly, it’s a deal to you even if not “a big deal”. I would just ask him. It’s possible he’s gotten more serious with the girl you saw, and she doesn’t want him sharing Insta stories with an ex. But you can’t know what’s really happening without asking him. We certainly don’t know.
You sound like teenagers. Honestly, who cares? You broke up a while ago, and you said you don’t care if he has a GF now. Also, the word you’re looking for is “sleuthing” not “slothing.”
For some reason it’s a big deal, otherwise you wouldn’t have wrote this novel. It really isn’t a big deal and doesn’t matter maybe he’s seeing someone new and doesn’t want you popping up in his dms. Regardless doesn’t matter forget about it.