I don’t date now so this is more of a hypothetical but kinda based on a past experience.
Have any of you experienced somebody being really into you in the earlier stages, but somehow you couldn’t take it seriously or believe it because you think ‘this person hardly knows me’? So their idea of what they like is based on minimal info and is probably hugely inaccurate. It feels so absurd and almost silly to me? Even though I’ve literally felt that way before towards guys I hardly knew either.
I feel like it’s a sensible way of thinking (especially if you’re being love-bombed for example) but it can also be a form of self sabotage. And if you have low self esteem or insecurities you tend to lean into this, like refusing to believe someone likes you THAT much and eventually they’ll be disappointed.
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Your third paragraph sums it up well. People who think like this are either correct because you’re a serial killer or something, or you have low self esteem and can’t understand why someone would like you. The latter is detrimental to all your relationships and I strongly encourage counseling to discuss these feelings with a counselor. Often times it’s others who see us more clearly than ourselves. We are often our own worst enemies.
Try to change your thoughts and your views on yourself. Your views on yourself presently will prevent you from great friendships and relationships.
Most relationships don’t last, maybe that’s why you feel that way. Whatever you’re feeling is more attributable to general relationship trends everyone experiences, instead of something personal to you.
They don’t like me up front so later isn’t really a problem lol
Oh, yeah, all the time. It’s just bullshit. There’s no real solution except to realize that it’s just bullshit.
You have to accept that someone probably will lost interest and there’s a not-insignificant possibility it’s not their own fear of intimacy or inability to bond.
So fucking what?
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