My (26f) husband (28m) was previously married to a woman he dated for four years in college. They were married for about a year and it became very clear she was/had been cheating. (Her own friends actually told him). Long story short she told him she didn’t love him anymore, gave him divorce papers, and told him her boyfriend would be moving into their apartment within the month so he had to get out. He immediately moved back to his home state and met me 10mo later. We married 1.5 years after that. Right after we got engaged her mom found me on social media (to this day, I have NO clue how she found me, I use multiple versions of my first name across my various accounts and high security settings to have better privacy) and she claimed my husband was a con artist and an awful person in a long and bitter message. (He isn’t – his ex had been borrowing thousands from her mother and blaming it on him. I had already been told this by my husband and his family and he had taken full responsibility for his part in the divorce (not being present, etc.) We have been together almost three years now and I trust him fully, we’ve had no problems.)
The strange part (for me- he is/was my first boyfriend/serious relationship) is his ex wife’s behavior. She does not follow me on social media and we’re not friends nor have I ever met her. I have a photography side hustle and so my personal/business Instagram is the same and is public. About four months into my marriage I suddenly noticed she viewed three of my stories. I ignored it because it’s normal to be curious, whatever. A couple months later I noticed her again (I didn’t normally check who viewed what before that, it didn’t matter). It’s been months now and every time I post anything she views it within a few hours, which means she’s purposely looking up my profile multiple times a day to see if I’ve posted anything (I’m not super active and go days/weeks without posting). I thought it would stop after she got married again and I try to ignore it. All other social media is on private.
What do I do? Should I block her? Should I ask her to explain why she feels the need to follow me? I’m concerned that if I block she’ll create a fake account(s) and continue. Would it be smarter to confront or pretend I don’t see it? As stated above I’m not very experienced in relationships, so appreciate any and all advice!
TL;DR: My husband’s ex wife is viewing all my stories on my public social account and I’m not sure how to respond to this type of behavior- I need advice
5 comments
block her and seek help from your husband to stop the nonsense (plus, i would suggest to delete or hide any content she might be connected to because in case you might want a restraining order or something, she may deflect the situation saying the she is inspecting something that concerns her)
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also, it seems like a normal ex behavior once their partners move on with their lifes… like of they need some kind of validation say something like ”yeah, she/he changed me for someone worse”
Instagram allows you to block not only the account but any created by that person. You should block for your peace of mind
Does it matter? Why waste your time just because she wants to waste hers? Why do you even care?
I would just ignore her. It does not seem like she interacts with you in any way, so confrontation makes zero sense. If it bothers you too much, you can block her, sure. But, my choice would be to ignore it.
Document anything that you can, just in case she ever does anything weird! And try not to engage her in any way. She sounds like a shitty, vengeful, bored, and mentally unstable person