I (19F) currently 8 months pregnant, due early august. This is not my first baby and I’ve been active the entirety of my pregnancy and stayed fairly fit and well with no complications. My husband (26M) maybe ever since I started showing gas just not had much interest in wanting to have a intimate relationship with me. I have tried so many advantages and there’s always an excuse about he’s just not wanting to move a lot , or he doesn’t want to hurt the baby, or he’s not feeling good. Sex has just started to become so wishy washy for us, it’s like once in a blue moon and I have to beg for it almost. Everytime I ask for it he always needs oral stimulation to “get going” but he never offers to give that to me. I finally gave in and yes, I admit I started being snoopy with his computer that he’s always on now, I work a full time job with swing shifts and he can’t even manage to make the personal time with me when I get home, he’s always playing games and chatting with his friends on discord even during the day when I’m dealing with the 2 year old we have here..
I’ve brought up multiple times how annoyed I was that he would always be making plans to do things on the weekends with his friends, but when I’m actually home and have time to see him he never makes the effort with me. Needless to say I found a fuck ton of nude women and porn on his computer that seemed to be the thing that was preoccupying his attention as far as his sex life goes, I confronted him on it and he went as far as deleting his whole Reddit and socials saying he wouldn’t even go online to keep him away from it. Didn’t really last long, within two weeks he’s was back on Reddit and online again and no change had really been made to our intimate life but I had my suspicions on if he was continuing to seek it out in other ways or not. So again , I broke down and looked at his computer , and there it was. Just like we’d never discussed that it was something that hurt my feelings and just the night before I was asking for intimacy from him and he just laid there while I touched him so I stopped because it didn’t even really seem like he was into it and he never touched me back. I’m not sure how to go
about the whole situation because he has a habit of apologizing and doing the same
thing again or trying to flip it into me feeling guilty and I just don’t know if I can take that kind of disregard anymore being
as pregnant as I am and we are about to have a baby and his lack of understanding
for my feelings in the whole situation. I
just wanna know if I’m overreacting.
TL;DR
Husband won’t be intimate with me anymore and makes excuses, but had nudes and porn on computer.
7 comments
Why would you even let yourself get in this position? Not first child, boyfriend is 7+ years older. Porn addicted, kid at 17 with a 24 year old?
How many red flags do you need.
I hate to say it, but having been in that situation myself, it really was the beginning of the end of my marriage.
My husband and I slept in separate bedrooms because he snored like crazy and he also had sleep apnoea and I desperately needed my sleep. At first our sex life stayed about the same but eventually he stopped showing any sexual interest in me at all. And I tried. Cute little outfits, I tried initiating it, I tried some fun sexy things that I thought he might enjoy. Nothing.
There were many many nights when I went to bed in tears of frustration knowing that he was jerking off down the hallway in his own room while he had a wife who is ready and waiting and eager for sex.
Eventually, after things got even worse, it came out that he was “In love” with one of my best friends. We finally had sex one time, and I became pregnant. He tried to force me to have an abortion and eventually everything came out and I found out why he felt so strongly about it.
I’m a lot older than you, and I can tell you this kind of thing doesn’t get better. Maybe you need to find someone with whom you are more compatible sexually.
It really is a huge deal, sex. Because it’s not just sex it’s intimacy and bonding as well. Can you live like this? Ask yourself thatVery very seriously
I have read that some men loose sexual desire with their partner during pregnancy. My advice is to deal with this head on but not in a confrontational way. Sit him down and ask him if his lack of interest is because he does not find your changing body attractive or if his feelings about you have changed. This may be a temporary thing or it may be a sign of a bigger problem. Personally, I’d rather know what I am working with.
Maybe he wants an “open” relationship.
What kind of porn does he view? Teens?
Op I was you, my baby is 7 months now and my partner wants it all the time. We spoke about it after he was born and he told me it was because he thought he would hurt the baby. Quite a few men i work with confided the same with me too. See if it changes after baby but honestly right now I wouldn’t panic
Love that Reddit’s answer to this is “become a single mom with 2 kids” 💀