My (f21) boyfriend (m26)(ex i guess) and I had been together for 8 months. During our relationship, I’ve always been there for me. I’ve struggled a lot the past half year in uni, and after a psychiatrist diagnosed a burn out, i dropped out for some time off. Around november, my boyfriend has shared with me that he has been feeling depressed. I tried to be there for him as much as I could, and I think I’ve managed to help him even though I was very stressed from uni etc. (i dropped out around christmas). I also lent him a lot of money from my savings (around 8k $) because he didn’t have a job until november. It’s something that always bothered me, since I’m almost paranoid about how i spend my money, I always write down what I spend and have a strict budget for my self. Him on the other hand spends money quite recklessly. For example he spent around 800 that i lent him on two NFTs that now flopped (CC if anyone is familiar). i had warned him about this project and was very vary from the beginning, but he insisted he knew what he was doing and promised me he’d sell them for more. he still has them and they basically have no value. he always eats out for lunch, because he’s too tired to cook in the evening. in our country, a meal costs like 15-25$. i feel like always do everything for him (i like to) but i dont really get a lot in return. i do still love him, but i always had to tell him what to do etc. he has a very demanding job and is doing a part time master at the same time. i give him a lot of credit for that, but he complained to me every day about how hard it is but wouldn’t take any of my advice.i told him the reason why he had no energy was mainly due to his lack of sleep, but he never took my advice and always stayed up late partying, seeing friends etc. he started his master in january and the first two weeks he was on top of his stuff and after that, i’ve not seen him study again and i’m pretty sure he failed the first module. I tried to support him by showing him how to cook and studying techniques and even got him an apple pen so that he could work on his ipad. Sometimes, he was at my place and I went on a long walk with my dog so he could study in peace and when i came back, he was watching tv or sleeping. He always claims he’s too tired but at night, he doesnt want to go to sleep at a reasonable time. The first time we had a real fight was in november. He was so angry that he yelled at me, called me crazy amongst some other insults and said he never felt welcome at my place. he punched the wall and was a completely different person. he impulsively broke up with me and said he said he wanted to censored himself. this has happened twice, the second time he even hit his head against the wall. after, he always apologized and took everything back. he said he’d see a therapist, but never did.
the past few weeks, i’ll admit i’ve had less patience. i’ve always had to tell him everything more than once, but lately t bothered me way more than it used to. i tried to communicate to him that i felt he didnt take me seriously, but nothing changed. on monday evening, i snapped at him when he asked for a beer when i was already busy making him a sandwich the he wanted. he got really angry and it lead to a lot of discussions. i’ll be the first to admit that i’m impatient, but for him my impatience was a dealbreaker. he suggested we break up , and when i agreed, he called me telling me he loved me. he said he’s been treating me like this because of his mental health, and he thinks he’s bipolar. im not a professional at all but as far as i know, bipolar episodes last months, not a few minutes/hours. i cant judge that though. toady we were on the phone and he broke down crying, saying he wants to . himself, and i then broke up with him. i told him i wanted to protect myself because i couldnt handle the uncertainty anymore. i wishes him all the best and thanked him for the good times we’d had together. he promised me he’d change and get help but he’s promised me so many times before and i really couldn’t take it anymore. now i feel like TA because i left him at his worst.
tldr: i broke up w my toxic boyfriend but i feel guilty since he’s not doing well mentally