When dating, how many of you prefer to take things slow sexually vs moving quickly?

23 comments

1. Largely indifferent. The rate sex happens at usually has zero impact on the outcome of the dating (unless the sex was bad).

   The exception being if I think the other person is just intentionally dragging it out for an extended period. Usually what happens in that scenario is I eventually meet and start fucking someone else which causes me to lose interest. For clarification I am usually dating more then one person at once early on.

2. When I was younger, very quickly. Now, slow slow slow. Vet ‘em before you bed ‘em.

3. I’d prefer to wait until marriage before being physically intimate.

4. I prefer things to go how they go. No pressure, no sense of time, just go with the flow . . . A mutually felt desire and feeling to go where it goes.

5. Depends on the person I’m seeing. I’ve had it where I had sex on day 1 compared to after a while and I ended up being in relationships for both occasions. Guess it just depends on the connection and where both your heads are at.

6. I struggle to wait, personally. If I feel chemistry with someone, I burn up inside. I go into ‘hunter’ mode and love the game of seduction.

   However, as a woman this doesn’t have good repurcussions on the way we are perceived, unfortunately by the people we want to commit ourselves to. I love ‘love’ more than I do sex, and don’t want to disqualify myself as relationship material.

   Although I want to be authentic, I swallow my ravenous appetite and wait it out a bit.

7. Jesus why do people on this subreddit post questions that need elaboration and provide none?

   Define “quick” and “slow”

   If someone is prepared to sleep with me within on the first few dates I go next. If it takes longer than 2-3 months worth of dating once per week/every other week I just assume we’re not compatible and go next.

8. After a few dates if you both feel comfortable with each other I’d have sex. I’m too horny to wait months to start hooking up and I wouldn’t want to date someone who wants to wait that long either.

9. I prefer to take my time. I need to trust her first. And I cannot sleep with someone I have no feelings for.

10. Slow. Sex makes you attached to ppl on a chemical level and you don’t want to get attached to a hoe. Wasted 5 years of my prime because I didn’t know better than to date a hoe. Ppl that give it up easily are also more inclined to cheat or divorce, there are plenty of studies that back that up.

11. Slow. I think it’s uncomfortable to be with someone you don’t feel safe and secure with.

12. It all depends on the person I’m dating. There will be some times when the chemistry means it happens on the first or second date.

    It may be half a dozen dates later. That’s caveated by the dates taking place within a short-ish period of time – say a month, or so.

    Sexual compatibility is important to me, so I want an idea if this aspect of “us” is going to work.

13. Definitely slow

14. I’m okay going long periods without sex but for that next person; can’t keep my hands off them.

    I’d rather go slow and know who they are outside of the bedroom first, cover my bases and be sure this is someone I want for the right reasons

15. Dating for sex – fast. Dating for marriage – slow. Because I didn’t want to marry a girl who fit into the quick sex category for other men before me.

16. Slept with my wife within 5 minutes of meeting her

    Brought over a Frappuccino
    Married a year later
    Tomorrow is our 10 year

    Sometimes you just get lucky

17. It SHOULD move at its own pace. I’ve never understood being in a hurry. I mean if there’s real chemistry I suppose it might go faster. Some people may take a little longer. Just relax. It’s sex. It happing or not happening isn’t the end of the world.

18. I prefer to go slow

19. I think it’s important for the relationship to move naturally. If I am ready and my partner’s also ready, why wait? So until both parties parties are OK and wanting, nothing happens before then and nothing is forced. I think wait while both are wanting is stressful.

20. As a woman, I say wait for intercourse. However, ‘there’s more than one way to skin a cat’ lol!
    I’ve read comments on here about chemistry. People know if there is chemistry between themself and whomever they are dating. If it’s there, you’ll feel it when your hand brushes the small of her back as you hold the door for her to go in front of you. Or if you lean in for a kiss at the end of a date and she closes her eyes and leans into your kiss. That’s how you know if she is worth waiting for.
    If she doesn’t lean in, there probably isn’t any chemistry. If I really thought I liked her, I’d probably go on another date just to be sure.
    I would definitely not have sex on the first couple of dates.

21. Very slow. I’m one of those wackos who intentionally waited for marriage.

    19 years of incredible companionship, love, and sex. Wouldn’t change a thing.

22. I prefer to avoid dating altogether.

23. Slowand passionate sex has a time and place, but eventually some good old fashion smashing is warranted.