My GF and I are both 26, and live together in a major US city. During the COVID lockdowns, I finally worked up the courage to come out as a cuckold to my GF of 6 years. While she was supportive of me, she told me from the start that she couldn’t ever sleep with another guy if she was in a relationship with me, but she was more than happy to roleplay it. I didn’t even know if I could handle making it a reality so I was totally okay with just roleplaying it. I was so thankful for how supportive she was and how willing she was to explore the fantasy.
About a year after I confessed, she started mentioning this guy Eli that she met through one of her friends at work. Eli and her friend went to college together. I had met him a few times, and kinda thought he was an asshole. Initially, it was totally harmless and I didn’t think anything of it. She talked about him in a way that made me really jealous, but also extremely turned on. A few months later, she asked if I would be okay with incorporating him into our roleplay. I was all for it. Over the next couple of months, he became the center of our sex life, and she confessed that if we weren’t together she would totally date him. Hearing this hurt, but I was also so turned on by it.
When she started going back into the office, she started spending more time with her coworker outside of work, and consequently him as well. Obviously, this started to bother me given what she had told me about how she would date him if we weren’t together. She insisted that they were just friends, that she had just said it as part of the roleplay, and that I needed to trust her. She said she thought that her friendship with him made the roleplay even hotter, and it did.
Then in May it all unraveled. She came to me crying and said she was really confused and that she thinks we need to take a break. She said that she loves me, but has developed feelings for Eli. She said she has tried to ignore them for the last 6 months, but that she can’t anymore and that she doesn’t know if we can work if she doesn’t figure out how she feels about him. I was devastated, and begged her to not give up and to work it out. She said that she feels terrible and doesn’t know how this happened, but that if we ever want a future together, she needs to figure out how she feels about him first. I was devastated and knew that this was all my fault. I asked her if the cuckold roleplay about him had contributed to it, and she said she thinks that she’s always had feelings for him, but me coming out as a cuckold allowed her feelings for him to grow over the last 2 years. She asked me to wait for her as she figures out what is going on between them. I have reluctantly agreed. I am so hurt, but so turned on. Idk what to do. Living together makes it even more difficult. Any advice?
TL;DR: Confessed cuckolding fantasy to GF. She didn’t want it in reality, but thought it was hot to roleplay. She developed feelings for a guy she met and now needs a break. Any advice?
9 comments
You goofed. This is so messed up.
Couples therapy or finding someone with a similar kink and asking their advice. Maybe fetlife has better Answers for you.
The mistake was involving someone your gf knows IRL in your roleplay- that’s a big no no. I think you should give her space to figure out how she feels, but also see if shes open to couples therapy
This cuckolding thing will do that. It’s literally a kink designed to screw up most relationships. What your mind tells you to do is to ‘hand over’ your partner to someone else.
OH MY GOD GET OUT OF THERE. Sleep on a couch if you have to!! It just must be so hard having to live with her.
She’s being super clear and not offering options, so there’s nothing for you to choose.
And this could have happened anyway, even without the roleplay. He’s in her life and there’s something between them. But without the roleplay you might FEEL less exposed and less responsible for the breakup, so it’s probably a lesson about the risks of bringing an ACTUAL real-life crush into roleplay. But I do not think that’s what caused this breakup, it could absolutely have happened either way.
Wishing you strength for whatever period you have to keep living together. 🥶
Please wait for me while I go fuck Eli and then I will decide which is a better fit for me. And if I don’t end up liking Eli better than you, I will come back to you. This doesn’t sound like anything I would want to be a part of. What happens when the next guy comes along that she may like?
She’s not coming back to you.
Man I don’t understand why people like cuckholding, these kind stuff always lead to train wreck. The fact if my girl bring that stuff up to me, oh man, I’m gone
Be real: the kink wasn’t the problem. If it was ‘just’ roleplaying that would be one thing.
>When she started going back into the office, she started spending more time with her coworker outside of work, and consequently him as well.
But she was the one that chose to increasingly include him in her social life. A guy she would have sex thinking about and acknowledged she would date.
And yet again be real about this: she overindulged in him and her solution is to… make herself single so she can sleep with him without feeling as bad?
She’s 26. Is it really fair she gets to act this naive while you are the one being hurt by all this?
Still, you’ve discovered that kink play is tricky. It isn’t just about doing the kink itself, it is about boundaries. And one boundary, especially in dynamics that involve third parties, is often to try and avoid people you know. You’re starting to get a sense why ‘unicorns’ [bisexuals who facilitate threesomes, particularly women but it can go both ways in examples like this] are so popular. You’ve also discovered that roleplay with people you know will frequently blur the lines.
But still, in the end she lied to you. She knew her feelings she just pretended they weren’t there, she dug that hole for herself. Honestly, even if you did recover I don’t think it’d ever be the same.