What’s a double standard that hinders men and benefits women but society accepts

37 comments

  1. The idea that men have to work more then women. Even though many women are starting to work equally with men. It feels as if men cannot rely on women to be the bread winner, meanwhile I heard a couple of women in my college class say that they might drop out and just date a rich guy.

    To me that sounds crazy, not having a job, not working and expecting a women to pay for the bills and what not. But for women they have that option.

  2. “Body positivity.” Society tells men to accept overweight women and normalize them. Terms like “plus sized” or “big beautiful woman” are used but you can’t call them fat. Guys? Fat guys are the butt of jokes. Fat guys aren’t respected or seen as stunning and brave just for walking around and being overweight. Women are. Oh and let me speak up about short guys too. Short guys are shamed, and that’s basically body shamimg, which again you can’t do to women in today’s society.

  3. That men have to pay for the first date. Like, both of us work so we’re both paying and that’s the end of it.

  4. The standard educational system (US), the classroom hours and the glaring lack of physical play time.

  5. Pretty much all double standards that aren’t actively being dismantled are ones that benefit women in some way.

    Men paying for dates, men being providers and earning more than their spouses, men being dominant and assertive, men keeping their feelings to themselves, men having the onus of responsibility for making sex enjoyable, men being chivalrous, men being expendable, body positivity not existing for men, men being judged entirely on how well they do with women…

    Basically, if a double standard exists and no one gives a shit about it it’s one that benefits women.

  6. The idea that women cannot rape men, and that all women who claim rape must be believed de facto by virtue of them being a woman.

  7. Women are basically taught that all emotions are okay. Everything. From anger to joy, jealousy to elation, sadness to silly.

    Men are taught there are two emotions that don’t show weakness. Anger and happiness. If you’re anything but those two you’re weak in the eyes of society and you will be ostracized, mocked, and targeted.

    And then we’re penalized by Society for just showing those emotions that it taught us to show.

    You get angry? You’re scary you’re mean you’re emotionally immature you’re violent.

    You’re happy? Hope you like being mocked for it, regardless of the cause. Herr durr sports, haha what a nerd likes comics, what are you some kind of redneck no one wants to see your dead fish.

  8. The women and children first rule in any disaster. I understand the children part but men still have to stay on the sinking ship.

  9. The sad fact is most men wont even complain on here for fear of being seen as weak in some way.
    I just straight up spent 10 minutes writing some and then deleted it for the same reason.

  10. Well, a skinny woman is said to have an unrealistic body type. It’s not unrealistic, it’s difficult, but not unrealistic. It can be done with proper diet and exercise.

    Meanwhile all media is filled with men on steroids, and nobody even bats an eye. Hell, most people don’t even understand what steroid abuse looks like because it’s so common.

  11. I used to work for a large household-name financial institution.

    The head of the region came on to the floor and said in very direct language that if you are male and white, you will not be getting promoted any time soon.

    The company labelled it “positive discrimination” and senior management talked openly about it.

  12. Another more serious one is male mental health. It benefits women for their mental health problems to be taken more seriously than ours, and of course it’s helpful for them if undesirable and unattractive men just shuffle off into dark corners and either waste away from misery or kill themselves. Therefore, no one gives a shit about male suicide rates or self-image issues or anything of the sort. If you’re the kind of man women give a shit about, you’ll overcome any insecurities, be confident and provide for them. If you aren’t then your life has no value anyway so you might as well just shut up and kill yourself and stop whining and disgusting them by being insecure.

  13. The fact that women make up the majority of graduates and attendees in higher education, while the majority of scholarships are exclusively for women but you only ever hear about “we need more women in STEM”

    On that tangent, female students are graded higher than male students for both equivalent and better standards of work throughout all education levels yet nothing is done about it.

  14. Mothers are seen as natural care takers and fathers are expendable and only needed for money. Child custody is usually awarded to mothers

  15. Also the idea that women can hit men as much as they want but the second a man hits a woman even in self-defense he’s a monster

  16. Constant one way body shaming.

    Sick of obese women telling me I’m too thin. Happened constantly throughout my teenage years. But, pointing out that someone doing so is a landwhale is not ok apparently.

  17. The whole etiquette around approaching women and early-stage dating, specifically that men are typically the ones expected to make the first move, decide on the first dates and pay.

    Hell, I’ve even seen profiles on Bumble where the profile says something like “I’m old-fashioned, so I expect you to message first if we match”.

  18. Women want equity of white collar careers but all of a sudden when electricians and plumbers are 90+% male they don’t want equity there

  19. I noticed throughout school, that teachers were a lot more sympathetic to girls who were emotional/reactive due to their hormones but boys were often punished for falling prey to their hormones.

    Plenty of times girls would shout, lash out, cry and be excused by teachers because they were hormonal or on their period, completely oblivious to how young boys experience the biggest jump in testosterone they’re ever going to experience (naturally) which is going to make them overly emotional, reactive and aggressive.

    While it’s annoying at school, it’s the knock-on effects that worry me because even as an adult, women tend to escalate situations very quickly into overly emotional situations because as kids they weren’t told to control their emotions when having a disagreement or just when having a bad day.

    I know this applies to some men too, but speaking generally I’d say women tend to be more emotional than men.

  20. Men are fat but women are plus “liven large,” or bubbly. Men aren’t care takers. A man alone with a kid at a park will catch at least one extra look. Men cant be stay at home dads. Men are supposed to help with jobs that were seen as womens chores (dishes, laundry, etc), but women arent expected to help with mens chores (mowing, fixing things, etc). In the US military, if there is a group going in for a promotion and a girl is one of the top candidates, she IS getting the promotion. Its a running joke that if a girl is there, you already lost.

  21. One more thing – women are allowed to complain about their love lives or their lack of romantic success until the cows come home and their experiences will be considered valid and acknowledged. If a man makes any comment about his romantic life that doesn’t insinuate that it’s all his fault that he’s not successful he’ll be attacked from every which way by women who tell him he’s a whiny loser and men telling him “well I’m X and Y and I still get dates so fuck you”

  23. Men being house husbands. More men reported they are open and willing but women are generally opposed to it.

  24. From a woman’s view, child rearing. Men are automatically seen as the less capable caregiver, so they often get the short end of the stick when it comes to custody or when applying for elementary school teaching jobs. It’s very much untrue, as I’ve met many men who are excellent with children.

  25. Body shaming like small dick (energy), being fat, ugly, baldness and other stuff are not called out if the tartget is a man where you’ll get a outrage if you said the same kind of stuff for a woman. You’ll hear that all women are amazing, beautiful and intelligent as a norm, but for men this are very different… I can go and write for days about it. But it won’t matter. We are just some stupid chimps.

  26. To paraphrase something that Bill Burr once said in a stand up “women’s issues don’t always get solved but at least people actually give a shit. Anything happens to a guy, it’s just considered funny.”

    There was a couple of social experiment videos, one showed the double standards of harrassment the the other showed the double standards of abuse.

    In the harrassment video, any time the woman was being being harassed people (men and women) stepped up to defend her, but when the roles were reversed the guy was accused of being crazy, weird, gay, stupid, lame, etc.

    In the abuse video the same thing happened, the woman shoves and hits he man for liking someone on Instagram and people laughed, took pics and video (one person yelled “worldstar”) but reverse the roles and the guy was at times moments away from death. Even in a version where the abused man finally has enough and…he shoves her away…, one group of guys who witnessed the entire thing still rushed the guy and were a slim hair away from ending the actor.

  27. So this is a double standard that I think is bad for both genders, but the way men in commercials are portrayed as such absolute idiots who can’t handle chores or childcare or whatever and the woman needs to help or save them

  28. Women are almost universally considered more trustworthy, more parent-worthy, and more empathetic than men simply because of their gender.

    If a man and a woman are seen to argue, or gods forbid fight in public, the woman is guaranteed to be assumed as a victim and the man as an attacker.

    Society expects a husband to bring in money to a household, but sees nothing unusual about a wife giving up her job upon marriage. Related; the man is usually expected to pay for dates and romantic outings in a relationship.

    Female pornstars make much, much more money than male ones.

  29. Women usually getting the kids and/or major financial support after a divorce. This causes MANY men to stay in horrible abusive relationships even after being cheated on because they will loose their children all but 4 days a month and be financially broken if they leave.

  30. A woman can register a child without the fathers knowledge, claim child maintenance and then not allow the father to see the child. Equality

  31. Body positivity is a huge one- we’ve seen the marketing industry wise up to image considerations for women as they should, but almost every male mannequin and model is carrying 5% body fat and a jaw chiseled from marble.

    I understand that this oversight and stereotypes come from a historically masculine society but to answer the question nonetheless, men are totally overlooked when it comes to body image discussion.

  33. Alright, I’ll put myself in the crosshairs of reddit:

    Anything, that happens to a woman, she is the victim.

    Anything, that happens to a man, it is his fault.

    Obviously, this is just a general perception and before you send that detailed story about whatever situation it is. I don’t care, this is not about that, this is just a conversation about whats a double standard for men and women.

  34. A double standard that hinders men would be they get assaulted by their female SO and people just laugh. Yet men who raise a hand to a woman rightly get beaten by bystanders, yelled at, ext. So it’s unfortunate that people still laugh when men get hit by women.

  35. In science men can fail, women are victims when they do. A woman was denied tenure in the dept where I got my PhD. No publications come out of her lab. She said two comments during the years she was there upset her so much that she was unable to work. One was about her being tall. Can’t remember the other, it was something an emeritus prof said. She won and got employment for life.

    In the lab were I worked a young man wasn’t smart enough to be a scientist so the prof helped him get into medical illustration. After a woman joined the lab she announced that she had an aversion to animal experiments. So the prof. had to do all her experiments. Then he wrote her thesis so he could get her out of his lab without being accused of discrimination.

    A female PhD candidate in another lab used a technique that I was expert in. I helped her when she had trouble with her experiments. I told her that I would help her with her thesis but she didn’t show it to me until she was about to defend it. I explained to her main finding was just an artifact, which she couldn’t dispute. The main conclusion of her thesis was incorrect, she still got her PhD.

  37. I don’t know how to put it into words but I’ll tell you an example that happened a few weeks ago.

    I got a male friend at work who’s one of the friendliest people I’ve come across, he’s weird (in a stupid way) but he’s awesome and loves everyone around him, on the other hand I got a female colleague who’s to say the least is VERY aggressive, you tell her one thing she does wrong and she WILL lash out like a 10 year old, every, single, time.

    A few weeks ago she was sitting next to my male friend talking to other coworkers while my friend was focusing on work, he was probably having a rough morning (we are all 20 yo and he personally doesn’t have anyone, he was raised with no parents and has to hold everything on his own with no help from anyone) so when my female colleague and her friends were yelling and laughing he got angry and yelled from his chair for them to stop yelling and yelled at my colleague to please leave. She was shocked! She couldn’t believe he raised his voice at her. She left for break and while my friend was eating lunch I was sitting with the colleague and some friends and she couldn’t stop talking about it, at first when it was only me sitting with her she just said “yea he yelled at me to leave I can’t believe it!” And after the rest of the coworkers joined she started a completely different story saying she felt like he was going to hit her! Everyone around got mad started threatening to beat him meanwhile I couldn’t deal with the bullshit so I questioned her on her lies or at the very least if not lies misguided story she was telling and suddenly I became the aggressor. How is it that she can lash out and yell at everyone without anyone questioning it but when my friend yells at her to stop and leave because she’s hindering his work he’s now in danger from some dumbasses that want to assault him, I just can’t…

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