I made a big mistake that really upset my boyfriend today and because I never had a good model of conflict I have no idea what to do. I tend to be pretty quick to forgive so I don’t know how long I should expect him to be upset and should we talk while he’s upset? And how can I make it up to him?
The specifics are in my post history, but I just would really like some sane and objective advice.
2 comments
You should explain to him why you did what you did and then acknowledge your wrongdoing. Make a full sincere apology and try not to let your emotions get the best of you since this is all about him right now. Then ask him if he wants some space or not. Find other ways to be there for him like bringing him food, etc. Sometimes it’s best not to constantly try and get him to stop being mad he just needs sometime once you’ve given a full sincere apology. After that the ball is in his court.
There’s an overwhelming feeling of shame and yet a vicious desire to protect a parent with an addiction problem. Explain to your boyfriend that you told your mom before he asked you not to tell and that you only told her from a place of goodwill – not to be gossipy. This is something that will take some time to heal but if you’re 100% honest from here out, hopefully he can forgive you.