So I’m married and my husband decided tonight that I was a narcissist.
A short back story, when we got together, I found out for the first 6-9 months, my husband (then boyfriend) did some shady stuff. Never actually cheated but definitely disrespectful to our relationship. Now, I chose to forgive him and obviously chose to marry him, so ultimately it’s on me, but I do think that I never got to really heal or deal with it, and it bleeds into our relationship. Anytime a situation reminds me even slightly of something that happened back then, I get a little spazzy, like today… because my anxiety gets so bad.
He told me tonight that I have a rebuttal for everything, that I’m manipulative, and narcissistic. 9/10 times when we argue, it’s because he thinks that I’m coming from a bad place. I can say anything and he twists it into a personal attack on him, and when I try to explain or give my perspective, he claims I just have rebuttals and that I’m a liar. He has straight up told me that my feelings don’t matter, he’s called me stupid, every cuss name in the book (including the C word), says I’m just as dumb as I assume people think I am, says I have the ugliest cry he’s ever seen. Told me tonight I’m a dime a dozen. I have never spoken to him in the ways he speaks to me. I have sat in front of him bawling my eyes out while he just mocks me. I don’t understand how I’m narcissistic, truly. I have never lied to him or anything.
You’re probably thinking I should leave , and you’re right. But I just found out I’m pregnant a couple weeks ago and even though I work full time, I can’t support myself, my son, and this baby on my own.
4 comments
Marriage counselling , do it if you want to save the marriage :0 ,
Yeah, your husband is a narcissist himself. He’s projecting his issue onto you. This and the other behavior you described are all forms of emotional abuse. You need to leave- get in touch with a friend or family member and ask them to help you until you can get on your feet. File for divorce (possible alimony) and child support. Apply for assistance programs like WIC. There are concrete steps you can take to improve your situation.
I don’t mean to come off cold- I wholeheartedly sympathize with you. I just want you to get out of this harmful, potentially dangerous situation before it becomes any more difficult. ❤️
If he is treating you this way now, you can imagine the horror once your child is part of the equation. It will be tough as a single parent, but regardless if you decide to keep the child, the one thing you should get rid of is that lousy husband of yours…
Ah welcome to the extreme of relationships. I used to be the type of guy you are with right now. Or so she told me.
But what an interesting concept if you think about it? There are 3.5 BILLION men out there and you’re still with this one?
The child does make things harder but do you want your child to grow up watching your toxic relationship?