My newborn is 8 weeks old.
After I gave birth I still had some extra weight on me which is normal, but not for my husband. He kept saying that im too fat and I should lose my weight back, and made fun of me. Here is where my insecurity begun.
There was a new girl hired in my husbands company. He works online in a company from a neighbour state. But he is also required to go there once a month. The first day he met her online he started telling me about her, and even though she was 36, 6 years older than us, he kept smiling when I mentioned oh ok she is older. (As if, she might be older, but she is goodlooking) thats how i understood his laugh.
He started communicating online freely, for 1 hour, sometimes 2hours work related conversations but also personal. About us, his family, religious conversations, but also they added each other on Instagram. (We had a deal with my husband to not accept or add females we know on that instagram).
She also added him on her work related instagram asking from him to like her pictures.
He went to the neighbour state for two days, but I didnt suspect anything since there had been other women working there but never added him. And from the moment he came back home, he had brought some food for his sibling, I acted hurt that he had not brought some for me too, even though I didnt ask. He got mad at me saying I never welcome him nicely at home. Here I started suspecting something was wrong.
Went on his instagram, found her, read the message, went on Skype seeing they had talked for hours. I confronted him, where he started smiling first, and than explained that she added him, and that there were family related conversations e.g. that he had a wife and children too.
From that moment on, in my postpartum mind he cheated on me.. he swore he never had, but after some days of discussion he said even if he cheated I would never find out. Theres where I lost it, and cant believe him anymore.
To me he is a cheater. How do I know if Im right, and whether should I forget about this and move on. Ive had sleepless nights and loss of appetite. He wants to go back to the neighbour state again, even though he said his colleague can do his job too.
9 comments
First, congrats on the infant!! Second, He’s incredibly insensitive about his realistic weight and shape expectations of you post baby. It’d be one thing if it were years and you ballooned like a whale, but 8 weeks…..please. My wife is 33 weeks pregnant with our 3rd. I would never say nor expect that.
As far as the coworker goes, my wife and I don’t put restrictions on one another. But while we don’t often do it, we have each other’s passwords and are allowed to go thru each other’s stuff unsolicited. Infidelity is a dealbreaker in our marriage on either end so we both are well aware of that.
There’s definitely enough for suspicion here or maybe an emotional affair, but I would lay low and see if you get concrete proof of an affair. Of course, you have to decide if that’s a dealbreaker for you.
Emotional cheating is still cheating…and he seems to be a bit of an ass for giving you a hard time about your body post-birth. He seems a bit self-centered.
IDK if he’s cheated or not but in the first paragraph, you told us he’s abusive and makes fun of you and makes you feel bad. Then later you said he broke your agreed upon boundary. If you need reasons to be angry, you can rightfully use those.
The fact your baby is 8 WEEKS and he’s complaining about your weight and making fun of you when you have literally just given birth to his child is all I needed to hear.
Cheating or not this guy is an AH and doesn’t deserve either of you. And to be honest, you absolutely don’t deserve this stress. It’s not going to get any better op.
I was done with him in the first paragraph. It’s been tough to convince myself to love my own postpartum body, I don’t have time to convince someone else.
He cheated, whether physically or not.
He’s trash. Doesn’t matter if he cheated or not. He’s trash.
Even if he didn’t cheat. He’s horrible don’t waste your life on a POS.
He sounds like an ass, a woman gets at least 1 year to loose the baby weight.
No respect means no loyalty and cheaters are definitely not the loyal kind for the most part and for him to say anything about your weight after having a child is such an asshole move I would never ever say anything like that to my wife she can gain weight or lose it and I will still love her the same no way this guy is faithful to you