i said “ew” when i tried to go down on her

yeah i FUCKED UP. Luckily me and her have fantastic communication and I explained what follows so there was no argument or hurt or anything, but I’m so embarrassed that i fucking said that. And even moreso that I very much meant it (about the taste/texture- not her!)

I’ve always had a really really hard and like, borderline mentally ill time with any kind of sticky fluid- I can’t stand eating or touching syrup, including pouring it onto other people’s food. I hate my skin being licked because of the saliva. I don’t like masturbating using my fingers because I’ll feel my own wetness, so I don’t. So that single lick of slick really fucking stuck with me for the rest of the day. I wanted to wash out my mouth a hundred times and just kept tasting it. And I feel horrible for feeling like that since I know eating out is important to her & she’s a fucking champ with eating me out. It didn’t even taste that bad- it’s not anything that’s her fault. It was like the taste/smell of a humid plastic water bottle..? Dunno why, but nothing bad. But now that I associate it with the slimy feeling on my tongue, I can’t stand it.

I love her so much and while she’s so fucking wonderfully understanding ab my issues, I want to be able to make her feel good. And being so strongly averse to like, the main sign of pleasure causes me to foresee a… lot of issues. I saw the link in the FAQ about being averse but it didn’t seem to really apply to my situation, I think? I apologize if this post still isn’t allowed to be posted. I’m just interested if anyone else has had the same issue and how one can overcome such an aversion.