They say you are a product of your own environment. So how do I get out? (Assuming I don’t have the recourses to at the moment)

10 comments

1. Get yourself to a therapist to help you fix whatever damage has happened to you and to help you move forward.

2. Take a look at the ppl you surround yourself with. That’s one of the first steps. Surrounding yourself with the right ppl. Stay positive!

3. You can find positivity everywhere, you just have to look for it. Youtube, Spotify, music. Listen to people who have positive things to say and surround yourself with that.

4. A good therapist should be able to help you sort out this kind of thing so that you don’t feel as burdened by it anymore. The fact that you’re recognizing there are patterns here that you need to work on is a huge positive step that you have already taken.

5. Be proud! I fought through so much of the same shit you are dealing with. And I’m damn proud I can pay my rent without government handouts and selling dope. It took me years to become a health minded man, but with enough hope, willingness to learn and repair you get to the point where you can start to share your life with others. It’s not easy ditching family but you need to do what’s best for you. I wish the best for you and godspeed.

6. Life is a hell of a ride. It’s full of ups and downs but the one thing that matters the most is that you’re in control. You have the power to change everything in your favor. You cut off people that weren’t worthy it. This is your life, you are in the driver’s seat of it, you got this!

7. You need therapy. This is to deal with your boundaries and helping you with your goals.

   Workout your goals and how to get there. (As in what industry; courses;etc…)

   good luck

8. You grit your teeth and work your ass off.

9. I’m gonna triple down on the therapy comment here cause boy is there a lot to unpack.

   >I keep allowing people to step over me and cross my boundaries because I have a long track record of doing that but now I want to fix it.

   Therapists help people constantly work on metal exercises such as these. They can help people such as yourself learn how to set boundaries in a safe non-judgmental environment.

   >Just cut my friend off of 9yrs because I don’t find interest in fixing our friendship

   >I cut off a fling I had cuz she’s too damaged for me to be around her and I’m already damaged enough so I’m trying to fix that

   >Cut off my mom and grandma because they could care less about my goals.

   >I’m not proud of any of this

   Plus the comments to another user here about moving to florida, and the title being “how do i get out” all paint a strong picture of Avoidance Behaviors which are rather alarming and can arise from mental illness.

   You should be proud of trying to escape toxicity in your life. That is a big step forward.

   If you are not proud about that behavior that should be a big red flag to go get some help because there may be something subconsciously affecting you towards those behaviors which would leave you feeling… Well not proud at the very least.

   >Everyone wants to kick their feet up and normalize toxicity and I want to break the cycle but how do I assure I’m not going backwards developing backwards thinking myself?

   Therapy. They can help you regulate your emotions, examine your inherent biases and work with you to help you become the kind of person you want to be. Whatever that is.

   Therapy only works if you are open with your therapist though. Thats why they will try to build a rapport in the first few sessions. Its slow and that can be frustrating. Sometimes therapy is life long.

   And hell if im wrong a therapist will tell ya you have a clean bill of mental health. Whats there to lose?

   As for the practicality of leaving, money is your one and only answer, if you are an adult. If your parents still have access to your bank account set up a new account. Hell I did it myself online a few months ago.

   This will let you get a car, get some form of living arrangement and from there anything else you could want. Like moving to florida, becoming a real estate agent, and a racecar driver.

   Generational wealth is well generational. Cutting off your mom will leave you more than likely without that. You will have to restart that generational wealth build up during your lifetime. And pass it on to your kids. And your kids, kids. Cause that is how that kind of thing works. So save, and figure out how to invest and be a good example to the next generation. Or you could just not have kids. Makes making money way easier.

   There is no easy path. Your life will be hard until you find a support network. Most people have several, but having cutaway at three (family, Friends, SO’s) of those normal pillars means its gonna be a rough road.

   This is why is will suggest again therapy. They are literally a professional support network that will try to help you attain your goals.

   Good luck out there.

10. I grew up in poverty for most of my early childhood. Most of my family were content to work dead-end jobs, and many of my friends were the same way. I also thought the same way. Was content to work a dead-end job and just coast by doing the bare minimum. This was all I knew as this was all I was taught.

    Eventually, I met a girl that I fell **hard** for… who was the complete opposite of all of that. She was hard-working, dedicated to her studies, wanted to become independent, and be financially stable. Things didn’t work out between us in a romantic way because we were polar opposites in how we wanted to live our lives. She wanted to grow career-wise and own a house. I… didn’t care about any of that. We drifted apart.

    One day it was like I had an “awakening,” and I credit that to my experience with that girl. She was the first person in my life who showed me that there was more out there. I decided I was going to focus on a career, and I set short-term and long-term goals towards achieving that. Now I’m in a position far better than any of my peers were growing up.

    Even though that girl isn’t in my life anymore, I’m still incredibly thankful for her showing me that there are ways to better yourself in life. You don’t have to be content with mediocrity in your life. It takes a lot of discipline, dedication, and work… but it can be done. It just takes one small step to start it all.