Hi, I am 23M. Just recently got pushed out of a friend group that I just recently met. I will explain my situation first. I need some advice.

The first friend group I met at University and got integrated fairly well. Been friends with them for 2-3 years. We used to go on random spontaneous trips things were fine until there was problems between two friends which split up the group. We had a big discord server we used to hang out in. One of the guys made a new server and didnt include me and one of the girls that had beef. I felt whatever about it. I hung out with the other half of the group and didnt pay attention to those guys, it doesnt bother me as much because It really showed me who they really are.

After that whole situation, I started just branching out and talking to old friends and new people. One of them was a a girl who friendzoned me. I started just hanging out with her, getting lunch and such, and she invited me to her discord server to play games. I was the only guy in the server, so at the start I was pretty quiet and tried not to say much. I would just join, play games with them and leave. I got really lucky and got to have 1v1 conversations with 2 of the other girls in the discord. So I got pretty comfortable, I would join earlier and converse more, sometimes I felt like I joined in too much. It got to the point where no one was joining anymore and it was just me and one of the girls I got close with. This went on for like 3 days. Just me and her, and I would see all the other girls online playing but not join voice call. Eventually I just stopped getting invited to games and they never joined the discord. Then recently I saw them all online playing together along side the girl I got close with. I request to join and I got shut down and they just start playing. So from this event, its been 3 days. I’m planning to chill out for a week or two before asking the girl I go close to if anything is up. I don’t like intruding, and I tried to slowly build my friendship with all of them. But it seems something has gone wrong and honestly, I don’t think its salvageable.

Yes, Im pretty bummed out, its like, im probably the problem. But I think I just need to give myself some time cause I do acknowledge that I was hanging out in there abit too much. But I don’t really know what to do. I had fun in there. I want to keep hanging out with that girl too.

1 comment
  1. >But I think I just need to give myself some time cause I do acknowledge that I was hanging out in there abit too much. But I don’t really know what to do. I had fun in there. I want to keep hanging out with that girl too.

    Ask!!!! If you can reach out to one of the girls and calmly (and no emotions in this…) – ask if there was something you may have said or done to be excluded? And I’d THAT doesn’t work, I applaud your self awareness in that you recognize YOU may have overwhelmed everyone (esp all the girls) by being too involved. It may have made them uncomfortable or creepy…who knows. Be mindful of how often you reach out

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