I need advice about the guy I’m talking to. I’m seriously losing my mind over this. How unreasonable is it to ask a guy to not heart react NSFW stuff from SWers pages? I don’t even want to be with someone who follows those people (nothing against sw, I used to be one but it absolutely isn’t for me) but I’m just asking him not to react comment or share them which he does all of that. It makes me feel so insecure about myself and it also makes me super uncomfortable. As a demisexual I don’t understand why someone would want to view sexually explicit things while in a relationship with someone. I talked to him about this and he told me he’s going to keep watching porn bc he’s a man and 80% of men do it, and that you can’t escape nudity no matter what. It made me feel like my boundaries were unreasonable… idk if I should move on or if I just need to get over my boundaries so I don’t die alone lol I really like him a lot and besides this he is wonderful… I just wish I wasn’t like this
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sounds like a deal breaker to you. time to move on
For me I’d say your partners porn habit should only matter if its affecting your sex life.
That being said I think the only porn habit that won’t affect your sex life is if there isn’t one. So go figure.
It’s not that your boundaries are reasonable or unreasonable. People have different views of porn and so two people can have clashing boundaries on the topic, and neither person is wrong. You have every right to feel insecure and uncomfortable with his use, and he has every right to use it..
It’s one of those dynamic situations I guess, one that I doubt reddit can provide a solution for. But I can confirm that in my opinion neither your or your partners boundaries here are unreasonable.
>I don’t even want to be with someone who follows those people
Then why are you?
>I talked to him about this and he told me he’s going to keep watching porn bc he’s a man and 80% of men do it, and that you can’t escape nudity no matter what.
yeah but does he have to heart react things too??? tacky, are those “likes” on a public account that people he knows will see?
Your boundaries are not unreasonable. You are very uncomfortable with this, and he doesn’t want to stop looking at this stuff, regardless of your discomfort.
He made his choice, he will not stop watching for you. You do not have the right to control him, it is his choice. So now you can make your choice. Are you willing to live with this? Or find somebody who respects your boundary here?
Personally, I pick option 2.
Setting standards and dealbreakers for yourself is a sign of maturity and you will have a better life and people are drawn to integrity. It stops the users and gaslighters (which it what’s happening here) getting into your life. These are reasonable concern with you so move on and find someone more emotionality mature that you can invest your feeling in
Your boundaries are not unreasonable, but if he doesn’t want to stop that’s his choice. I’d say move on, but I’m sure you’ll find someone willing to not watch porn.
Alright I was with you till you got to demisexual. That is just some made up thing. I don’t think you being a “demisexual” really matters to the story
I have the same boundary as you do. And we are entitled to that just as much as anyone else is entitled to their boundaries or beliefs. Do not let anyone make you feel invalid for what makes your comfortable. I do not feel comfortable with a partner or myself following a person for sexual fulfillment; I just cannot understand how it is pleasurable.
What matters is how your partner responds to this and where you both end up feeling at the end of the conversation. Wishing you luck, whatever the best option turns out to be darling.
I could never be attracted to a guy who hearts or shares that stuff. I mean that just seems pathetic to me, call me a bitch lol.
Your boundaries aren’t unreasonable. He can get porn when he is desperate without following and interacting with these women’s pages.