A few years ago I got upset with my cousin for eating in my new car. I told her to stop and she did, but I was still bothered when we got home that night. I’ve never gotten into a physical fight with my cousin but he said “who would win in a fight, you or her?” And I looked at him like his head was spit in half and he said “oh you’re scared of her, huh?” And I said no, I just never thought to do that it’s not that major.
I’m not a confrontational person so physical violence is never my go to. But my then boyfriend, now husband, thought I just wouldn’t fight. My parents also LOVE the story about how my little sister choked me In my sleep and I woke up screaming and he thinks that I cannot fight. I’m nearly 30 so i don’t fight, i have a career and nothing is so important i need to fight ppl. So when we got around my dad, an ex marine that practices jujitsu 3x a week and yoga on his off days, i asked if he thought he could fight him he told me to shut up.
And I was mad cause he always does this, and asks my female friends and family members who would win in a fight and I always say stop it. We’re usually having a good time and its weirdo behavior. Now he’s not speaking to me because he did it again in front of my family and I said “you’re being an asshole and a weirdo”. And called him out. Am I being over sensitive or is that weird as hell?
2 comments
Why bring it up tho…. that is a deeper question. What is he wanting to happen? Is he sizing you up for something… like an affair? Or is he projecting his insecurities on to you?
Your dad can contest to this, real fighter… the ones who know they can hurt people, try not to fight because those who look for fights are weak in themselves and try to prove who they are but still doesn’t change who they are inside… weak.
There are so many petty come back I would love to say to him to hurt his ego but I think he is hurting inside and just projects it on you because he sees you as weaker.
I think you need ask your dad to teach you a few things and just not say anything if he wants to be that way… and if he wants to prove himself put him in the dirt.
That’s…. so weird. Like those comments I could imagine between 10 year old boys at the play park.
Ask him what is his obsession with you fighting or sizing you up? Does he want you to be aggressive and punch someone? Is this some kink of his?
I’d also ask to go to therapy because it’s getting weird to the point that you don’t know what to think of it. That literally no one else you know does that.
Strange. Not sure what his fixation is on that or if he just knows it’s annoying to you and just wants to poke for some immature reason.
Those sorts of things are enough to make me leave honestly. Like you’re an adult, act like one.
I’d also start doing it to him too. Does he have bigger (taller or more muscular) male friends? I’d randomly ask him that IN FRONT OF THEM. And when he gets upset say you’ve been asking me this for years, what the fuck is the difference? You’re so obsessed with it.. what’s upsetting you now? I want to create unrealistic hypothetical situations, too!
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