i hate myself im always jealous of my gf having a life and im the reason why we always fight like its like im keeping her in prison i love her a lot. i get jealous of her talking to other boys on snap and her sending pictures of her face to them like i shouldnt care but i just do. i get mad at her for whatever she does and i always treat her like shit cause of that and somehow i fucking get jealous for her talking with her friends??? like im controlling her in her life and i know damn well that isnt good and thats extremely toxic for me to do like im telling her to unadd boys she talks to. idk what the hell is wrong with me i need help i just need advice how to stop i love her so much its just my problem and idk
4 comments
You remind me of my first boyfriend. Jealous and controlling. My advice is that if you love someone ultimately it means you trust them. It’s not really love if you can’t trust them. At the end of the day, if you genuinely love someone you’ll respect the decisions they make because you care about them and are happy when they are happy. Also if that love is reciprocated back to you daily, you have to remember you need to share the love back as well and that means taking the time to really respect and not control her. There’s a reason you’re with her and there’s a reason she’s with you, it’s about time you remember that. She’s around you all the time, because she loves you so why do you need to be jealous and controlling? You won because you’re in a relationship with her, you’re fortunate the other guy isn’t so, there’s no reason to be controlling. She’s with you and she loves you that means shes going no where, you’re priority 1.
Jealousy comes from fear.
Controlling implies distrust.
Is your fear and distrust valid? Maybe?
I, personally, would not be comfortable with my partner sending out photos.
At the same time, if it is just a way they have always communicated, then I am out of line requiring them to change because I’m fearful. They chose me. With zero signs of cheating, that need to control reflects my own thoughts about what I would be up too if I was sending out pics.
Behind every accusation is a veiled confession. Especially with zero evidence.
Love requires trust. Requires freedom.
Anything less is a prison for you both.
Communicate.
Usually I would say to trust your gut. The question here though, is your gut looking at your motives? Or is it actually seeing something?
In either case, bravo for seeing this shit behavior on your part as the toxic cesspool it is.
I did this to the love of my life. If you push her away you live a life if regret a d confusion. Go to therapy, it helped me understand why I acted the way I did. I bet it will help you.
Dude, you’re not toxic. Jealousy and Controlling behavior is absolutely normal. Set-up some boundaries, like , you know what initially triggers your jealousy, if she steps over that boundaries you make yourself ready to walk out the door. If she seeks attention from other dudes, then she shall have it.