I jnow the concept of virginity is outdated and flawed but I (F21) can’t stop of thinking when was I traditionally stopped being a virgin. I have 4 moments that could technically be “my first time”.
1 when the hymen broke: I have no clue when that was as I never had bleeding or pain during sex but I probably did it with my fingers during masturbation at some point.
2 first time of any sexual act with another person : When I was 20 I dated a guy for a few months and he gave me oral once. There was no penetration of any kind . It didn’t last long and I didn’t even come close to an orgasm as I soon asked him to stop because I was feeling awkward. I also gave him a very awkward handjob but it wasn’t a success either
3 first time sex: a bit later I discovered I was bisexual and I started dating a girl. Our relationship lasted a few months, we had lesbian sex a few times and I was actually feeling it.
4 PIV: After that girl I got in a relationship with a guy. That was the first time I had PIV (penis in vagina, if you didn’t know) sex. Whereas sex with the girl was great it didn’t involve penetration (except for fingering, I guess). So that was my first time experiencing penetrative sex.
I know this is a personal matter and I get to decide what I define asmy oen virginity but I am curious to see what do you guys think of this, as all for cases do respond to a definition of virginity.
4 comments
Like you said, it’s completely up to you and really doesn’t matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. You want our opinions, though, so personally I’d go with #2
Hymen breaking means losing virginity in a physical sense. Mentally, probably number 4. Just pick one and go with it. I’m just happy for you and that you enjoy life and sex.
Well, whichever you felt more fulfilled and satisfied and comfortable. Virginity is subjective, as much as people want to make it black and white. It isn’t. So I’d say the encounter you felt more fulfilled, more sexually satisfied and comfortable.
There are people that had oral and considered that virginity loss. I had oral done on me long ago but I always considered myself a virgin until I had penetrative sex with my girlfriend. I know girls who had a non consensual forced encounter with penetration but saw her losing her virginity the time she actually really *wanted* to have sex and felt pleasure from it.
I think 1 is out but 3 and 4 are probably the 2 I would say. 3 is more of foreplay leading to but could be considered when you lost it.
I don’t think it matters really as long as you are enjoying it.