I am 26(m) and I’ll be moving away from my family for the first time in a few months for work I’ve been on my own for years but this is my first time not being within 30 min of my parents. They are getting older and I’ve been stressed about not being here although I’ll only be 5 hours away I’m still not sure how to handle it.
Any advice?
13 comments
You grow more as a person when you’re truly on your own away from home in my opinion. But if you get past the initial shock of not living at home and not being around family as much, you’re good to go
I moved across the ocean from my family, it’s not easy at first, I still talk to them every week, but as time pass, you will meet new friends who will make you feel like home, maybe even a spouse, these 2 things made it a lot easier for me, as time pass you will build yourself a life and it will all work out, worst case, I’m sure your family would love to have you back :), GL!
I did it for 3 years. I was about 5 hours aways (give or take due to traffic). Don’t buy a new car thinking it will make the drive easier so you’ll go visit more often. That’s what I did, or at least justified the car that way. In hindsight that was dumb. It made the first drive or two better, but after that it was just a car, and by the end I was opting for the train.
I was never someone who see my family a lot, at least I didn’t think so. I would see them on holidays and most birthdays. That’s about it. In between, we don’t talk a whole lot. I missed those birthdays and holidays more than I thought I would. I have several nephews and I felt like I was missing them grow up. I’d mail them gifts and get a text with a video of them opening it… getting those texts made me miss home a lot. My parents, and grandma are also getting older. My grandma is going to be 102 this year.
Some aspects of it were good. I saw a lot of great concerts and comedians…. several of which have died recently, so I’m really thankful I got the chance to see them. Wherever you’re going, use it as an opportunity to really experience the city and the stuff going on there. Look up events and go. Try meeting people and all that. I went to school a few hours from home, so my ties were already broken. If you have always been less than 30 minutes from them and still saw them all the time, this period of time could be really good for you. It could also be good for your career. I know for me the move helped bump me up a few notches.
That being said, if your parents are getting older or their health starts to decline over the next several years, you may want to consider what you what to prioritize. I once heard someone talk about how much time they had left with their parents and talked about number of visits. If someone says, “my parents are going to live another 10 years” that sounds like a decently long time. But if you only see them once a year for Christmas or whatever, that means only seeing them 10 more times. That hits different. I still think going is worth it and would be good for you, but you just need to evaluate at some point if you want to stay there or not. Everyone will make a different decision on that.
Cry yourself to sleep a couple times once you’re there and it’ll get easier.
I moved out of my parents house for the first time last year to a new state that’s a 3 hour plane ride or 20 hour drive home. I’m fortunate to have some relatives here and to have met my first girlfriend here. Without them, it would’ve been very hard and I’d already be back home. I wanted to take the chance to learn and grow which I definitely have. Make sure to call your parents once in awhile, it’ll help you and them.
I’ve been half away across the planet from my parents since I was 17. I’m 42 now. You’d get used to it quick, but I get what you’re saying. Especially if they’re old and/or sickly. My dad passed away in February & he’s been sick since 2018. It wasn’t easy, especially when this fucking pandemic started & there were quarantine procedures w/ travel restrictions.
My suggestion: text them regularly. I text mine 3-4 times a day. Teach them how to, if they don’t know how. Also, use WhatsApp to facetime them once a week. That’s all I can tell you.
Call/FaceTime them at least once a week. Keeping in contact with your family is pretty good for both you and them.
Find something to pass the time. You have to rely on yourself for your well being. You will feel the loneliness of being by yourself.
I ‘cried’ for 2 minutes on the plane then felt relieved that I was out of there.
You are able to learn more when you’re not comfortable. The homesick feeling can stay for a very long time or short depending on how you are.
But take time to learn to be alone first before you try to cope (in a negative way) with all these new feelings/emotions.
I have moved on now like 4+ times and the initial move gets a bit easier but with finding a new support system it can definitely make your transition time a lot shorter.
Good luck and don’t stop interacting with your family!
listen to the song welcome to parsdise by green day
Well, I think it’s a good sign that you’re worried about your folks. I moved out around the same age as you and trust me, I could not *wait* to get out of there. I moved almost two hours away and didn’t have any sad feelings about getting out.
You handle it with joy and excitement.