For years, I have dated and been faithful, compassionate, caring and put the girl first. I have always ended up walked over and being cheated on. It resulted in terrible experiences over and over again.
The last few months I have had enough, I have changed completely, I have been dating multiple girls while becoming more assertive, and dominant, letting each girl chase etc. And it is genuinely working wonders. I am being treated better, iv never had as much attention and healthy success with girls in my life. My personal goals are also better, I am not as drawn to a specific girl’s drama and can focus on myself more.
Rather than a temporary moment of thinking, “fuck it I’m going to act like this for a change”. I have started to justify this behaviour and starting to think about sticking with it long-term.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I have tried to have a balance in the past but I find it extremely difficult to get emotional satisfaction from 1 girl without getting sucked in and walked over. Soon as they know I am invested it’s like a flip happens.
6 comments
An advice? Get your priorities right.
You talk about dating but also about not getting *sucked in*, you talk about dominance yet how you need to justify it.
So you are either just fantasizing, or don’t know what exactly you are doing and doomed.
So the reality is, you didn’t break the mold of your previous mentality, you just switched it for the other side of the same coin. You haven’t changed your outlook on dating to be healthies, you have stayed within the same paradigm, you know the way hate isn’t actually the opposite of love?
It sounds like you might benefit from doing deeper work on your self esteem and self worth. If you can’t just be with one girl and respect her without being walked over, you have a deeper problem. It might be about the women you’re attracted to, it might be about how you behave, but in any case, you need to analyze where this is coming from
I’m not saying you need to be monogamous. If you’re treating all the girls you’re dating with respect, honesty and communication, it’s okay, but you’re framing it as a power play where you’re now the dominant one, meaning you are creating a framework in which if you’re not doing that, then you’re submissive. You’re creating that reality
You’ve been hurt and in some weird way looking to do some payback?
What did you change in yourself to become more assertive, dominant and letting girls chase you? Like is there anything particular that you worked on?
Older person here. This isn’t healthy thinking AT ALL. It will have disastrous effects down the line. You are missing WHY you were being walked over and you are missing WHY this is being successful. The reason why you are in this tug-o-war relationship situation is because you are picking the wrong type of women to date.
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