Guys who have had success encouraging a partner to try new things in bed. How did you do it?

9 comments

1. [deleted]

2. By simply telling her what I was interested in, and asking if she’d like to try it. No games, or puzzles or riddles. Just talk about it.

3. It has to start from something soft. We started with roleplay, initially after back from work, I kept my office suit and pretended to be her boss then I slowly took more morally contradicting roles to the point of actually experimenting different sexual plays like BDSM, Anal and etc.

4. Define “new”, please. Are we talking a different position, or something super kinky, or somewhere in-between? I’ve had success encouraging a partner with little more than “hey, let’s try something, if you don’t like it tell me to stop and I will”. If they say to stop, stop, and that builds trust. With trust, the door is open to try other things as long as you continue to respect boundaries. Simple.

5. They were things she wanted to try too

6. What’s stopping you from seeing how she feels about it?

7. Step 1. Start with a girl who is very adventurous.

   I’ve never had great success turning a “good” girl “bad”, so whatever she’s like in the first few weeks is generally how they’ve stayed with minor improvements.

8. Just talk to them about it. See if it’s something they would be interested in or willing to try.

9. Take a couples tour of FetLife. Or…., there is a blind kink survey you can do online. Blind meaning you both take the survey separately and it shows you only the kinky stuff you both said you’d like to try with each other. So, if you both say you’d like to try rope play, it will say Rope Play, but if you say you’d like a threesome and she doesn’t, it won’t show up on the results so you won’t know what weird stuff the other is into unless you are both into it.