27m, went on a date with a 26f on Saturday. We met on Hinge. Her profile was ambiguous and her instagram was kind of weird, almost as if she was trying to be an influencer/model but ultimately failing, posting the same kind of picture and backdrop, it had alarmed me but I tried to not think much of it. Even with that being so, she was moderately attractive. We agreed to coffee on Saturday afternoon.
She was 20 minutes late, I was 10 minutes early. By the time she made it to the cafe, I had already gotten my coffee as I was already somewhat annoyed, especially since I had no idea who I was meeting. When she arrived, I didn’t even stand up, just greeted her with a smile as she sat down across from me. We talked for a bit and got to know her. She bought her own coffee (I would have paid but she was already late and I didn’t feel like it).
We talked for an hour, got up and went to a nearby park where we further had conversation. She looked just like her pics so her aesthetic was no surprise. I felt like we had potential for a second date but I honestly didn’t know if it was possible, after 3 bad first dates back in March, I was disheartened. We agreed to part ways around 3pm and I asked if she kisses on the first date, she said no but we can hug, it was awkward needless to say.
I don’t know why I asked for a kiss. Maybe I just wanted a consolation for knowing I probably wasn’t going to see this girl again. But this is the 3rd time in a row I’ve either asked for, or gone in for a kiss on a first date and been rejected. I am thinking that the women I am meeting just don’t want to be kissed until maybe the 2nd or 3rd date. I have had hookups and my only relationship happened with sex on the first date, so maybe I am just going about it wrong.
4 comments
… yah I can see why you don’t make it past the first date…. You need to do a ton of maturing
“I had already gotten my coffee as I was already somewhat annoyed,…”
“When she arrived, I didn’t even stand up, just greeted her with a smile…”
“She bought her own coffee (I would have paid but she was already late and I didn’t feel like it).”
“I don’t know why I asked for a kiss. Maybe I just wanted a consolation for knowing I probably wasn’t going to see this girl again.”
Ultimately, it’s not so much about the number dates but rather how *great* the date is that determines if many people kiss or not. This sounds like it was a crappy date and based upon what you’ve stated I wouldn’t have bothered asking for a kiss.
A date which entails playful flirtatious banter, compliments, smiling. incidental touching while laughing/talking, holding hands while walking, moments of lingering eye contact, slow dancing, are things which typically lead to kissing and making out. Attraction, chemistry and compatibility matter.
It’s probably not realistic to expect a “boring” or *unromantic* date to end with a kiss.
Best wishes!
A kiss on the first date is not standard. That expectation should not be there! For me, a first date has to be incredible for a kiss, with strong romantic/physical connection
It doesn’t even sound like you enjoyed this date, or liked this girl, and she 100% would have picked up on that. So why would she want a pash? Honestly, why would you?
Yes it was very weird of you to ask for a kiss. It shows neediness.
Next time wither go for it or don’t. Also you are thinking too much about everything.
Calm down and keep the abundance mindset, you don’t need these woman to make you happy – they are just add ons to many things that make you great.
Remember that my friend 🙂