Hi Everyone!
I (23F) really really love my boyfriend (27M) . Our relationship dynamic is good , we communicate beautifully and everything is pretty good with us. we do have our ups and downs but we fight through our issues and work through them…..but there’s this certain issue I’ll never understand.
This man *HATES* spending money, he will do literally anything in his power just to not buy stuff. one might even call him a bit stingy….
from the Dog food to the furniture, he buys the cheapest or most reasonably priced thing.
Me on the other hand , I love spending money (and I know my ways are equally flawed) and even though we have our separate accounts and a joint account for our home , I’m very bothered about how he buys our stuff.
Please don’t get me wrong, I have Zero expectations of him. He’s been with me for 3 years now and during these years he’s supported me in very way possible. I don’t want him to buy **me** expensive stuff, I want him to spend more money on **himself**.
He never does anything for himself. Time and time before we had issues with his appearance or the cheap stuff he buys either breaking , tearing , not working and it disappoints him so much.
we both have pretty good-paying jobs, we never had money issues and neither of us had financial difficulty in any point of our lives. As I mentioned we have great communication skills and we constantly work to better ourselves so discussing this issue won’t be a hard thing.
Help me Reddit ;
How am I to handle this lifestyle difference?
Is It gonna get worse/harder in the long-run?
How can I help him? Is this harming him realistically? Is this an actual issue?
Do we *both* have to tone it down a little?
1 comment
This is a good trait, unless taken to the extreme. He has to learn that quality is just as important as cost.
This is how he is, and will be a feature of his life. He needs to see how being too cheap can be a waste of money as you said. Unfortunately you will need to deal with this difference as long as you are together.
Money matters are super important. Perhaps establishing a budget can help him relax about spending a little on himself, if it is part of the budget.