I recently had a chat with a few people who grew up on the opposite side of the country to myself, and talk eventually turned to the ‘S’ that everybody was obsessed with drawing at school. I was surprised that this had somehow transcended geography and was a staple for millennial (and possibly other generations) to pass that classroom boredom.
This led me to wonder – are there any other jokes/trends/habits etc that the whole of the UK are in on? That are fundamentally and quintessentially British without us realising it?
27 comments
Disliking the French.
Another school one is the looong, slooow, goooood mooooorning that kids do at the start of assembly. I was fascinated to learn that this happened at all schools. Alt-J even included it in one of their songs.
And also the single child (there is always only one in the whole school assembly) who adds another “of kings” to Sing Hosanna.
Pinch, punch 1st of the month
Making a little 👌 sign and trying to get your mates to look, therefore allowing you to give them a dead arm
Money falling on the ground and everyone shouting ’scramble’ to get it.
A loud cheer if anyone drops a plate/glass in an eatery
Friend
Baiting/teasing Americans on the 4th of July.
Actually no, just baiting them in general. It’s a fun spectator sport. Like grumbling about the French 😁
Shouting ALAN! at music festival campsites. Where the fuck did that come from anyway.
To me.
The Game. Sorry everyone.
Yellow car game, sometimes expanded to mini punch or KA kick
Everybody knew that you could breed those gooey alien things by putting two of them in the plastic egg case together. How did we all know this? Somebodys older brothers made told them.
School tie ‘peanut’
Basically, pull on a mates tie really hard so the knot becomes so tight it’s almost impossible to undo. Shout ‘PEANUT’
Also….
“Chinny Beard” for accusing someone of exaggerating/mistruthing
Grass darts were actually ‘Flea darts’
Playground football ‘rush’ goalies
Deliberately Stepping on the back of someone’s shoe as they walk so the heel comes off…
I grew up in South Africa and we all did the superman S as well. I was surprised how many of the childhood chants, games, jokes etc are still around and just as popular in the UK. I’m sure they’re prevalent anywhere that has been exposed to Western culture.
The first UK-wide joke that comes to mind for me is the answer to an outsider asking “What is a cheeky Nandos?” Maybe it was only popular around the time I moved here but it took me ages to understand it.
GARLIC BREAD?
If a pint glass smashes, and everybody doesn’t go “WHEEEYYYYYY” then I’m not in Britain
Christening someone’s new shoes.
Pretending Prince Charles is Harry’s dad.
Adding “who the fuck is Alice?” to the chorus of Living Next Door To Alice.
If the teacher is 15 minutes late, class is cancelled, you can all leave.
Can’t park there mate
We all know that Badgers love mash potatoes
Boaty McBoatface.
Somehow I just love this one.
I was surprised to learn that the over-application of Lynx Africa has been a staple for young teenagers for a few generations.
Painting your hands in that PVA glue that all primary schools have and then peeling it off.
Your parents telling you it’s illegal to have the interior light on in the car and that swans can break your arm. I intend to pass these myths on to my children.
The DJ button on keyboards
“did you hear Michael Jackson/Marylin Manson had a rib removed to suck their own dick?”
When a kid fell over on the school grounds and everone would shout ‘she fell over’ regardless of sex
Skill is an African bum disease
Chinny reckon
Helen Keller / Joey Deacon references
Being warned that tipping back on your chair will crack your head open when you fall like that kid that time
I was thinking last night to back in the early 90s, when if someone made a dumb comment, the reaction to that would be to put your tongue behind your bottom lip and make a”ughh?!?” noise.
This prob makes no sense 😂