The analogy I (23F) used after going to therapy for my sexual abuse.

I was sexually abused by my godfather between the ages of 6-8 and it wasn’t until I went to my health class in middle school that I realized I was sexually abused/assaulted. My first kiss, my first sexual oral experience was taken from me before I could even write a sentence. From middle school to now, I have struggled with this trauma and had a lot of hatred for this man and for myself because I felt that it was my fault for never telling my parents.

In the last year I have gone to therapy and have talked to my close friends about this situation. One of them told me an analogy though that has helped me claim my virginity and I am able to say my first kiss was my boyfriend in high school, not a 50 year old pedophile.

The analogy goes like this. Compare your first kiss or virginity to a car you own. This car is yours and you know it. If your car gets stolen, it is still your car. Some person stole it and thats because they’re terrible, it’s not your fault your car got stolen. It is still your car. However, if you decide to sell your car, thats your choice. You made the choice to sell your car, and then it is no longer your car.

I’m making this post for people who had a similar experience or dealt with an issue like this. I have found comfort in this analogy for a year now and anytime I think about what happened, I remember this and know what my first everything really was for me. Its been ten years since it happened and I never think about it unless it’s a really bad day for me where I am struggling mentally. I have healed and I will continue to do so, but for everyone out there, it does get better.