You know how if there’s a plate of cookies on the table, and if everyone’s greedy, you only take a few so you look normal?
Then, if nobody takes the cookies (or sometimes biscuits if it’s the UK), you could only take two and still wind up looking greedy?
That’s how I feel about speaking. I was invited to a group setting and they said people could talk but everyone else was shy and didn’t talk very much, and I had questions.
I was concerned I was speaking too much, but no-one objected.
However, near the end, when I had made a point but hadn’t finished what I was saying, and someone else put my hand up, the moderator cut me off as if she wasn’t listening.
She apologized afterwards, but I don’t think she even realized – I think she just zoned out.
How do I avoid being like this?
Worse, I also think that I’m bad at summarizing my own thoughts. I also have a habit of thinking of new things at the last minute.
3 comments
I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with talking a lot. Maybe asking more questions and allowing people to talk more while active listening might be something you could add. Tbh as someone who doesn’t talk too much people like you are my savior when it comes to social situations, helps me out a lot and I actually prefer that the other person carry the conversation
Maybe you made an important contribution in breaking the ice, and if you hadn’t spoken, no one else would have asked a question either. Look at it in that positive light. Bottom line is no one complained or made any faces.
Ask open-ended questions to kinda force others to talk more. I’ve been in a group of awkwardly silent people being the only one trying to make conversation, and it’s really annoying. It makes me feel like I’m uninterested or something.