I matched with a guy on Tinder and we started chatting, he seems pretty nice and open to answering general questions I’m asking, in order to get to know him better. But he doesn’t reciprocate, he asked me almost nothing about myself. Would it be too much if I keep initiating conversations? Right now, I’m taking a break from texting him first, to see how long before he will text me on his own. Are guys generally interested if they don’t ask, but answer the questions?
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I always say “if he wanted to, he would have” so thank you next. Don’t waste time. He is probably talking to 10 other girls.
as an introvert, sometimes it’s odd to ask back the same things, but i always try to ask something.
Not all men are so enlightend. And mind I ask where you were when my faith in tinder was still intact?
Give it time if he doesn’t reach out then he never will. Unless your into that?!
Sounds like he has more than one option on Tinder. In my experience, guys do not ask questions when they’re not that interested in you and may have their eyes on someone else.
Regardless of gender, a truly interested person will ask you questions, no matter how shy/awkward/lazy etc he is.
You can start by also giving statements now rather than questions. For example if you asked “So where do you normally go out?” and he just responds with a list of places and not asking you, respond yourself with “Yeah been to some of those” – a very vague example, but if that doesn’t open him up, just drop it. Its not even ghosting in my opinion if they’re asking you nothing. Its not an attitude defined by gender either, im a guy and find this a fair few times too – no need for us the waste the energy.
I mean, you’re on the completely wrong platform if you’re looking for a relationship. Tinder=fuck and chuck. Bumble=FWB, Hinge=relationship.
Don’t speak unless spoken to. That man’s from the hood
People can glean information about others without asking explicit questions. If you’re talking about work, you’re going to volunteer most of whatever he wants to know. Some people just aren’t that curious about other’s lives.
Most people don’t want to be interrogated, which is what the game 50 questions tends to turn into.
But, he *should* be participating in the conversations. He should be volunteering as much as you are and this would involve the occasional question. But, not explicitly asking you what your favorite food is, what your favorite movie or color is, is how a natural conversation flows. This information will come up organically when it matters.
So, is he participating in the conversations?
Ask yourself why do bother texting with someone who you haven’t met and not actually enjoying the conversations all together.
This will not get any better, you know:)
>Right now, I’m taking a break from texting him first, to see how long before he will text me on his own.
So rather than talk to him or ask him where he’s at mentally/emotionally, you decide to resort to playing games. Got it.
Leave this guy alone for good. He deserves better.
Usually if someone is interested in something, they ask questions.
Yeah he is prob a introvert as one myself I can say we suck a convos at first but over time it will get better
Funny that you ask that. I was just about to create a post asking why women would match with guys, ask maybe 2 or 3 questions and from there the guy has to do all the questioning. This has happened to me 3 times already. I don’t mind asking questions about someone I like, but at one point I also expect some questions about me right? I could be wrong, but my theory is that they are not interested enough or maybe they are already talking to someone else and they also are ignoring them lol. Who knows… I have had good experiences before where both parties start to ask away and it makes things smoother. But what I usually do is, I give it a try for some time, but if they start doing this “ghosting” kinda thing, I just drop it and stop wasting my time.
I usually drop these kind of matches, it’s hard to keep asking them questions and they dont even ask anything about me. It’s honestly not hard to type back a simple “what about you” , conversations will run dry sooner or later if it’s just one sided anyway! Stop wasting YOUR time and energy
Simply, if he’s not reciprocating interest, he’s not interested. He’s only chatting with you because he’s bored or likes the ego boost. Unmatch him and find someone that reciprocates effort in a conversation.
One if my pet peeve’s is this type of person. It’s all about them. Dump him, he is clueless on how to treat people. I always tell my shy son, when you meet people ask about them, then let them carry the conversation. People love to talk about themselves. Apparently this man doesn’t give a rip about your personal life.
He’s just not that interested
Had this problem about a month ago and said bye-bye. To me it felt as though he wanted me to pursue him and make him the centrefold of my universe but I don’t think that he actually wanted to know anything about me. So PEACE ✌🏼
This is possibly in my top chief complainants about online dating. Actually, no, this has solidified it as being the creme de la creme of annoyances. I find this far too often or someone has, “if you message me hey then I’m not replying” yet then they message you ‘hey’ after sending a few inquisitive questions. I feel a lot of people do this because they’re not really keen on meeting or are boring or just lazy. There are usually friend options on dating apps if so but gosh, I’m a bit petty and sarcastic so I usually can’t help being jovial and say, “wow, so much info in getting to know ya’ that I don’t know what to ask next!” Or just unmatch.
move on. he’s clearly not interested.
I’m an introvert and it’s really hard for me to even come up with something to ask, let alone want to ask something I don’t care about.
I know it sounds harsh but I don’t really care how work is going or what you had for breakfast.
Nope. I wouldn’t waste your time with this guy. Asking questions, especially at the beginning of getting to know someone, is pretty ingrained in the social script—so much so that when it’s absent, we notice. Asking questions doesn’t have to be like, incessant, and not every question must be reciprocated. But not asking ANYTHING shows that he is not curious about you, even at a human level, and is more interested in talking about himself.
You should not have to be burdened with keeping the entire conversation going. This applies whether you’re a man or a woman. If the person you’re talking to barely puts in the effort to get to know you and you’re feeling exhausted already, that’s only a sign of what’s to come.
I just offer up info and see how they take it. If they respond well I continue the conversation. I’m a guy though so I feel like this is expected.
Maybe he has no social skills or is uninterested
See if he will talk to you on the phone. If not, he is stringing you along. Yea, I know about the introvert and all that stuff, but if he doesn’t initiate any getting to know questions other than “what about you?” following your questions, you likely are not number 1.
Its probably because he hasn’t needed to to get women. Water wind and electricity and people expect engineers take the path of lest resistant . Most women pick the top 20 percent of men so these men get lazy because its easier to get women.
My dumbass just doesnt know what to ask so he may be interested but clueless like me.
might depend on how many options he has
Same thing happened with a guy and I recently. Not worth it ended badly. Treated me as if he was too good or cool to show interest and in the end didn’t respect me
Don’t waste your time with anyone where it feels like you’re pulling teeth in a conversation. It is exhausting beyond belief
I am somewhat confused but maybe I’ve been out of the game for so long that tinder is not what it used to be….has it become an app for dating? What I recall is that it was for those interested in casual hookups. If so, maybe that’s why he ain’t keen on chitchat? Hoping some kind poster will clarify for She Who Does Not Bother anymore. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds cause I really am curious about which app is for what (and anyone who tells me what OLD is (other than my age) will get a free emoji reward. Yes I could google but then will be haunted by adverts for dating apps forever and ugh no.
Sounds like he just views you as a lay and not truly interested in you. Depending on what you want, do with this what you will.
Been there, done that. NEXT! Conversation is everything. Shouldn’t feel forced.
I kinda have the same problem the guy does, I came to that conclusion on my own actually lol.
What I realized, atleast for me, is that I’m much more engaged when in person! I’m not very fond of “Text conversating”, it’s not intimate enough, things get mispelled 🤔, people are busy and cant text back fast enough and you can’t judge the true intent of someone’s words, over a phone screen. I like to see the person and the emotions they express when talking, that’s what catches my attention and gets me truly engaged in the conversation. After that? If you’re interesting(most everyone interests me 🙄) you can’t get me to STOP asking questions!
I think it depends on the person, I know I GOT TO BE the driest texting nonconversationalist MF on the planet! But in person? You have my undevided attention and are the only thing im interested no matter where we are🤷♂️
I’m talking with a guy like this right now. Actually we have a date planned for the weekend. He has texted me first a few times. He seems really sweet actually so I think he’s just shy. When I asked if he still wanted to meet up he relied right away “yeah of course I do”. I think I’ll just have to see how he is in person. He is probably nervous and shy and not used to attention from women. That’s the vibe I’m getting anyways.